Broken Home - Narry (Sequel to DFWML) --quite slow updates--

Chapter 7 - Shattered Glass Like The Past, It's A Memory Now.

Dedicated to 'narrysunshine_' as you're always first to vote :)
Also 20 votes again for the next chapter

-Harry-

I don't know what happened yesterday, from the second Niall got here in the morning, from the moment he was fast asleep in my arms. But I know for a fact that he is very sorry, and very upset about it all, the entire situation, he's sleeping so peacefully now. We must have switched round naturally during the night as he has positioned himself on me, snuggling deep into my chest.

I look at the clock, unaware as to why I'm awake at this hour, it's seven am, but Angel is usually awake now, but she isn't so I am just sat here, well lying here, awake.

As I gently play with Niall's hair, he stays unconscious and unaware of what's happening around him. I can't help but think if he has taken any of his meds for his B.D. of if he is just pretending it doesn't exist any more, come to think of it, every time we have argued, it was probably his B.D. that made him so angry and upset, I never thought of it that way. I really should have taken his mental health into somewhat of a consideration. Fuck, I'm stupid! Why didn't any of you remind me! Fuck, I can't blame you guys you've done nothing wrong. Sorry.

I take a look at his sleeping figure and wonder to myself if he is really okay. Like, you know, that genuine 'okay' state, where everything seems at peace, you're not upset or sad, you're not entirely happy, but ti seems as if life is turning around for you, I wonder if he is actually okay. I feel as though there's a question without answer; Am I the one to blame for all this? Have I been the person to cause all this harm on him, because I didn't show him I cared when he would have a bipolar episode of mania or depression? How much have I hurt him? Like really hurt him. He hasn't put much across of his internal emotions.

I'm trying to forgive him but I struggle because I don't know how. How do you forgive someone when you built it up so high and suddenly you're falling? Sometimes you just have to look at the problem from their side. How do they see it? I know Niall sees it all as his own wrong doing, when it's partly mine too. It's my fault for not taking care of him. My fault for making him appear as the bad guy in every situation, it's my fault he hurt himself all those times.

I move my hand to rub his back instead of playing with his hair.

"Noooo," he whines and looks up at me with his unbelievably beautiful eyes. People always describe them as oceans, well they're not oceans, they're this just amazing- he's just perfect.

"What?" I ask and he shrinks back a little.

"Sorry."

"Ni, it's okay, what did you say no for?"

"You were playing with my hair, it-it felt nice... h-haven't felt that way in a while," his voice is small and he looks away from my eyesight. I have the feeling he's gonna cry again. If he does, I'm gonna too.

I can't help but play with his hair again, the way he relaxes instantly is cute, he's just all cute and vulnerable at the moment though.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out and he looks up at me all confused and adorable.

"Why?"

"Because, well- fuck - I haven't treated you the best either, you can't argue with me on that one because not once did I ask you if you were alright, you never were, you were hurting yourself and I never took your mental health into consideration, not even once."

His eyes are wide as he looks up at me with a hopeful expression.

"This gold ring, both on mine and your finger, represents that we should be there for each other, that we were there for each other, and that's never gonna change, it's just inevitable that all things good come to an end and I wish that I could of been there for you, through every time you were having a bipolar episode and I didn't think that it could be that, I'm sorry I never let the thought it could be your B.D. cross my mind, I never noticed all the long sleeved tops you were wearing, I never noticed that you wouldn't show your arms and even when you did it was for a short period of time anyway, I'm jus-"