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9: You Told Me I Can Make You Fly But I Can't

Chapter 9: You Told Me I Can Make You Fly But I Can't

I have never felt so free until today. The sun heats my skin but the breeze is cool enough to balance the burn. Kids are all running around and playing dirt like it is the best toy in the world. So carefree. Well, I have been in the stage of an easygoing kid, however that stage didn't lived too long for my liking. And right now, I think I am thankful for not enjoying the kind of bliss because a lady like me need not experience those fairytales.

The moment I had my reasoning capability on the age of 7, I realize that my mother was a hideous being. She got out of my life as soon as she bore me. I always ask myself 'Why? Why me?' She could've done that running after she bore Maegan, but still she waited for my time before she gone. After years of contemplating the decision of my mom - who I did not even know the face of - I moved on and smiled for the world to see.

At that age - 10 - I became more critical, I see those little mistakes people don't usually see and thinks that people around me are naturally terrible. The most important part of my childhood left, meaning anyone could leave. Even my family. My family can mess me over - that's what I believe in.

Oh how this belief proved itself for me as the time passes.

Tulisa betrayed me, she was my bestfriend who I go to sleepovers to, but the girl stole a part of me anyways.

Kai cheated, he told he loved me, but he did anyways.

Maegan moved on befriending me, she's my only sister, but she gave up anyways.

Those three are a significant part of me, but they let me slip over, they made me fall off the trusting cliff. And gone I became.

With all the people that f*cked me over, I want to be ahead of them. That step before anyone else makes me feel in control - the others merely follows my trail. Despite the uncertainty of my predictions, I have been where I want to be. Successful and powerful.

I could not say anything to change my mom's decision of leaving us, and I sure couldn't do anything to stop her at that young age and mind. Now that I could and I can, I see to it that my power and authority holds my people close and a pace behind me.

Some might feel degraded, upset, angered or even scared but I let them be. No one cares, so I won't. Don't think I'm bad, they gave up on me long time ago... All I did was give myself a break of expecting someone who would look at me and see the hurt I am in.

You see, the world goes on without you knowing. Whatever you face, the world won't stop and pace with you head on. Whenever you're hurt, the world won't freeze and heal you. However you feel, the world won't soften and comfort you.

"Finally a break from the stress" a voice took me out from the reverie I'm in.

My feet paced on before I sat back down the nearest bench, not saying anything.

I watched Kelsey jumped to the small trampolin that was situated at the center of the playground. Her grin is like a domino effect, making my lips twitch in a small smile.

Xavier sat beside me and settled his arm at my backrest, facing me, "What are you thinking?"

I raised my brow in confusion.

He got the silent message and sighed, "You've been so quiet, Dani. What is disturbing you?"

"Oh. Nothing" I shook my head.

Apparently, I wasn't thinking about anything that makes me stress out, I just missed the fresh air and peaceful surroundings.

"Is it about last night?" Xavier probed.