Always What She Wanted

Chapter 3 James's View

"You're so worthless!"

I had been waken up to this so many times now. My mother screaming at my father then, like she does almost everyday, comes into the living room where I sleep every night, since I don't have a bedroom. I look up at her my back stiff, from the rock hard couch as she is crying and had tear stains on her face from the night before.

My parents weren't always like this. I think it started about a month or two ago. When I heard of other kid's parents fighting, I always imagined it as a gradual thing; like it happened over years. I think the fighting really started when my parents discovered how short the money was. Then, about a week after that, my mother started discovering some odd charges on one of the many credit cards my parents own. They had sworn that they would fix their relationship together, however everything just got worse. We eventually ended up moving to this smaller house so that we could afford it, however I no longer have a my own bedroom, or bed.

My mother was always embarrassed of me seeing her after she'd been crying, and especially when she still was crying. She hurriedly grabbed at the end of her sleeve wiping at her eyes, only making her already smudged makeup even worse. Giving me her best fake smile she turned on the TV and asked me, "So what do you want to do today?"

Hearing my dad slam the back door shut and throw out a few cuss words while he was at it, I had responded with, "I don't know I'll probably go over to Alex's house.

I had normally gone over to Alex's house mainly because I didn't want to hear my parents argueing. The other part because Alex always had food, and had a family who was generous enough to let me have some. Most of my meals were eaten at Alex's house from over the past year.

While I was over there, we had mostly played video games or watched TV. Kadence wasn't normally at their house either which was disappointing for me. I always thought of Kadence as more of a sister, since when we were little the three of us would always be playing together. The more the three of us grew up, the less Kadence would want to play with us or would talk to us.

Kadence and Alex were inseparable whenever they were younger, and they still kind of are. I remember, on our first day of Kindergarten, none of us knew anyone. Everyone had walked into the cold classroom, and looked around as the teacher was giving us her warm welcome, however none of us were paying attention despite us trying our best to make a good first impression. Our teacher had already had our seats assigned to us. She had started going down the list of names of all of the kids in her class; one by one we had been going to our seats. When she got to Kadence, Alex had realized that they were not going to sit with each other, unlike what he had expected. After trying to take a seat beside Kadence and getting corrected once, he began to cry and throw a tantrum. After a while, the teacher realized that she wasn't going to be able to separate the twins and let them sit next to each other.

The phone, bringing me out of my daze, began blaring. I looked over at my mother who was still crying, expecting her to pick up the phone. Instead she just sat on the couch flipping through channels she already flipped through just to distract herself from the fight that she just had with dad. She started noticing herself flipping through the channels and took into account that it was a little obvious she was trying to distract herself so just decided on a  channel. This has been happening more frequently where she will just do something useless to distract herself. Normally, she will flip through all the channels about three times before giving up.

Realizing that she wasn't going to get the phone I stood up with a sore back, stretched for a second, and went to the phone.

"Hey."

"Hey. What's up?" I asked, recognizing that it had been Alex's voice.

"So, um... Do you want to go to the movies with Kade and Aliena?"

I laughed a little in my head. The real reason why Alex had wanted to go was only because of Aliena. Alex has liked her for a couple of years now. I always found it amusing however, how Kadence was so smart knowing how Alex was. Anytime she was going to do something with Aliena and Alex had wanted to come along with them she would always make him bring one of his friends with them, which was usually me.

Aliena would go to their house occasionally, but every time she would Alex and my video game playing would go on hold for nearly the entire time that I was over there. Alex somehow found an actual excuse almost every five minutes or so to go over to Kadence's room or wherever they were in the house at the time, either to just see Aliena or talk to her. Lucky for Alex, Aliena was always nice about Alex's obvious crush but after all these years of Alex liking her he couldn't get the nerve to ask her out.

Responding to Alex through the phone, I had told him, "Sure, but you'll have to pick me up."

After hanging up the phone, I didn't want to go back and watch useless TV with my mother since she was probably watching some jewelry show since we don't have very many channels. I had gotten myself a bit of breakfast which really only included a boiled egg and watered down milk to try to make our food "stretch." Once I had my meal that only made me hungrier, I went to go take a shower.

Being ready for Alex to come pick me up, I waited in the living room where my mom still sat. She had looked up at me trying to smile again. This had been the worst I had seen her yet. I wasn't sure what my mom and dad were fighting about since I woke up near the end of it, but whatever had been said I could see the long-term effects on my mother. Her eyes had been red and puffy for days meanwhile she tried to cover it up with more makeup that never really helped her case.

I heard the back door open again and my father walked in. He wasn't like his normal self. He had seemed like he was having trouble walking and his eyes seemed distant. My mother scrunched up into a small ball and avoided making eye contact with him.

"I'm so sorry honey. I never meant any of those things, you know that." my father apologized, his speech slurred.

My mother's eyes began to tear up and she still wouldn't look at him and instead tried to get even farther away from him.

"You always say that, yet the accusations get worse every time."

"Hey, I treat you right and you should know that. I have never put a hand on you or James and I am trying my best to pay the bills."

"No! I would like for you to leave."

"Excuse me? This house is as much mine as it is yours you cannot just tell me to leave what belongs to me!"

My father still showing signs of intoxication got closer and closer to my mother as if he was about to hit her. I stood up and stepped in between my mother and father hoping that nothing would ever get too out of control in their fights.

"Move out of the way! I was never going to harm her," my father scowled at me.

"I agree I think you should leave; nothing has been getting better and if you really cared that much, by now you would have started working things out not drinking your sorrows away."

My dad still a little stunned that I had agreed with my mother, was very hurt although I almost didn't care. He had caused my mother such pain in the past couple of months and told her things, whether they were true or untrue, that would haunt her forever and make her think less of herself.

Again, my father started screaming at my mom about how she can't make him leave. Finally, I got so tired of it I started pushing him out of the house until I could lock the door behind him. I ran to the front of the house afterwards knowing that my dad would try and get in through the other side and just as I locked it I started seeing Alex and Kadence drive down the street, being my savior.