Fearless

Chapter 4

August

I checked my phone for any missed calls since I was waitin' on two phone calls from two jobs i applied for.

I didn't have any missed calls, which was good and bad 'cause it meant I didn't miss the opportunity to answa' but it could also mean that I didn't get tha' job.

I was more hoping to get the second job I applied for, not only 'cause it was involving what I liked doing more but a fine lil mama caught my eye in thea'.

She was the one interviewing me and I know she was feeling me cause I saw it in her nervous brown eyes.

I was calling her Ms.Wilson for respectful purposes but I saw that her name tag read 'Ohãna'. Her name was as unique as her face.

I ain't seen a female as bad as her in quite some time. Even the ones i seen won't nun compared to her. She was different.

It stood out to me that she wasn't like most broads 'cause she won't drooling over a nigga.

I couldn't say the same for the other girl working there though. Aubrey or Ashley, some shit like that. She was cheesing real hard at me, freaking me out a little.

I would have made a move on Ohãna right there and then, probably ask for her numba' or whateva' but I didn't want to ruin my chances so I held it down.

But if and when I get that job, Imma slide in thea'.

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Ohãna

Looking in the sun visor mirror above my head in my car, I could see I looked how I felt.

Weak and fed up.

I called in sick yesterday because my body was so sore that I could barely move without wincing in pain.

This meant that the interview call-backs were delayed and I'd have double work to complete when I got in to work today.

My body was still sore in some areas but I just dealt with it.

When I looked in the mirror at my body this morning I noticed the belt never left me any new scars thankfully.

Except for one bruise on the back of my legs. I can't really stand the sight of my body anymore truthfully.

I admit I cried this morning, I mean I cry most mornings but today in particular I woke up early so I just sat there for 20 minutes contemplating life.

That's when reality hit me, I have to leave this man before he kills me!

But it's not that easy because last time I tried to leave he sat at my feet hugging my legs crying, begging me to stay. Which obviously I stayed hence why I'm still with him.

After that he stopped hitting me for a long time and I thought we had a good thing going.

But one night he decided to get drunk and he lashed out on me because his food was apparently cold.

Then it started happening again regularly and worse than before.

'God if I don't know anything else I know how to pray. Please help me, I'm begging you. I come to ask for your help and salvation.' I prayed quietly as i drove to work.

I don't really go church anymore like I used to. I wish I did because I used to really enjoy it, it was the only thing that brought me happiness and one point.

At first I stopped going to avoid family members this one time because my face was brutally beat up.

Then it turned into a regular habit and I sort of just stopped all together, which my mom nags me about every time I speak to her.