Do you ever feel unwanted even though you know you have 4 amazing friends who you know won't leave you no matter what? Yeah that's how I feel right now...
I feel like giving up... And it seems as though the only way to make it better is this... they don't know I do it because I'm ashamed to tell them, Harry doesn't know I do it because if he did he would want to know why... And there is no way I could find it in me to tell him it was him... He is the reason...
So here I am... Sitting on my bathroom floor starring at the bloodied razor blade in my hand as I feel the warm liquid on my wrist... This is my great escape... This is the only way I am able to cope with the fact I love someone who will never love me back...
I stand up and run the cold water over my wrists and the bleeding recedes... I pull down my sleeves over the new cuts...
~~~
I sit down on my couch with some popcorn and settle down to watch a movie. The door opens and Harry walks in, he smiles at me and sits down on my lap.
"Hey Haz."
"Hey Boo," he says smiling down at me.
"How was breakfast with Liam?"
"It was ok I guess," he says his smile disappearing, "it would've been better if you were there though."
I smile up at him and snuggle up to him... I fall into the soundest sleep I've had in a while...
~~~
I wake up to Harry playing with my hair and to see him staring blankly at the TV which was off.
"Morning Boo," he says with a small laugh.
"Hey Hazza," I say and grin at him. He smiles back but it seems a bit forced, I ignore it.
"What time is it Harry?" I ask seeing that it's dim outside.
"Uhh," he says as he pulls out his phone, "8 o'clock."
"What?" I say startled, "I fell asleep at like 10!"
"I know Boo," he says chuckling, " you've slept the day away."
~~~
I'm soooooo sorry I know it's short but I'm tired and I have school tomorrow booooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Anyway I only have like 8 more days of school and then summer yay!!!!
-B
