Celine
*Present Time*
No one really ever explained illnesses to me. So when the doctors diagnosed me with schizophrenia, I had no idea what that meant. Until Caroline explained it to me.
"It's like.. people who are special, people who can see, hear, and imagine things other people can't." She says glancing down at her hands between every word.
"So you're saying I'm special? What's so special about me, that would make them think that I can see, hear, and imagine things?" I ask looking down at her twitching hands, rubbing over and over her fingers.
"Celine, listen." she says finally looking me in the eye. "We believe that someone took you yes, but the whole thing with the man with curly hair and," she stops for a minute." Sparkling, green eyes." she looks down again. "We don't know for sure, but we believe.." She looks up at me again, gulping she says, "that.. That he isn't real."
"No, that's not true, he's real, and I know that he is. I'm not crazy." I raise my voice some and stand up from my chair, and throw the blanket that was on my shoulders, to the ground.
"Celine, Celine. Calm down, it's okay, you're not alone. There are thousands of people in the world with your sickness, it's okay." She says standing up slowly and using her hand to try and push me back into my chair softly.
"No! I won't this is dumb! I won't do this, this is absurd, I do not have schizo- whatever it's called." I say walking towards the door, so that I can go back to my room, and be alone. Suddenly, the door opens before I can get to it, and the red headed doctor walks in with two security guards.
"Celine, please sit down." The doctor says. Before I can even say a response, two arms are dragging me to my meat and forcefully sitting me back in my chair. "Celine, I am Doctor Charles, and I will be working with you during your time here."
" Are you the one who diagnosed me with Schizophrenia?" I ask eyeing him from my seat, which is now being accompanied by two guards, on the left and right of me.
"Yes, I am. Would you like for me to explain your diagnosis?" He says looking down at this paper and flipping it up to look at the second page.
" I'm very aware, of my 'diagnosis' and what it is. What I'm concerned with is why I'm being diagnosed with it. You all think I'm crazy, and I'm not," I say glancing from each guard beside me, who won't stop watching my every move.
"We don't think your crazy sweetheart." He says sitting his papers on the table to the left of him, and looking up at me. Clasping his hands together he says, " We simply think that you just have some problems, that need to be fixed and dealt with severely."
"First of all, I am not YOUR sweetheart, so don't call me sweetheart." I say clasping my hands together, mocking the way he did. " Second, yes, I have problems yes, but how would you feel if you've spent your whole life, awake during a horrible nightmare that you never wake up from? Every night, I would lay in bed thinking of how horribly I wanted to get out of there, or how I had no freedoms or no life whatsoever. How every morning when I was forced to get up at the same time, I would push myself to get out go bed, and go through another day in hell, and no I don't mean another day of school, or lectures, or anything like that, but a day of pure hell. A day of at least two beatings everyday, plus the added ones if I didn't do what I was told perfectly right, or if I didn't do it fast enough. Everyday a different man would come in and touch me, and beat me if I didn't please him enough. I was forced to do things, even as a child, that someone at that age should have never been forced to do. And then the day I finally get away, after all the failed attempts and after all the courage I pushed myself to have, to run away, from that.. place. The day I actually get away, someone finds me and helps me, and he protected me and helped me heal and be a person more then anyone ever has, when that finally happens to me. When I actually grow to care for someone, and feel that they care for me too. You guys try and tell me that he's not real, and that I'm crazy and have problems. So if you had a life like that ever since you can remember , don't you think you would have problems too?" I say with tears streaming down my face.
And after that, they had no words, they had no expressions, and no actions, or feelings, besides one thing: Guilt.
-
*Flashback*
"H?" I say crinkling my eyebrows at his response.
"Yes," he says slowly. There's a pause for a couple of minutes and I start to speak when he interrupts me.
"Well, I'm C-" I start to say.
"You're Celine, I know who you are." He says beginning to walk out of the room. I stop and watch him as he exits, keeping myself in the same place. He turns as he exits the doorway, "Are you coming?"
I follow him through, what seems to be a cabin and take in my surroundings, as we walk into what I assume is the kitchen. "Where are we?" I ask leaning myself against the doorway as he walks to the fridge and rummages through it.
"Well, right now, we're in the kitchen, in a cabin, in the woods, in-"
"No, I mean, where is the cabin? Which woods? What State are we in?" I say interrupting him.
"That's for me to know, and you to.. not know?" he says ending the sentence with what sounds like a question.
"I need to know where we are, so they don't-" I stop myself mid sentence, knowing that if I tell this stranger about what might happen, he might freak out and hurt me, or worse, call the authorities.
"so they don't find you?" He says looking up from the fridge to me, with soft eyes.
"I- I don't know what you mean." I stutter out looking down at my bare cold feet.
"Look, let's just say, I have an idea, as to why I found you the way you were, and lets just pretend that I know exactly who and what you were running from. So there's no need to act like I'm clueless to your situation." He says shutting the fridge and laying what looks like an egg carton onto the counter beside the stovetop.
He places his hands on the edge of the counter and spreads them out and looks down at the countertop. From my view, I can see every inch of his frame, if his back muscles and how tense they are. He looks up and closes his eyes, and sighs. "I know all about what you've been through, and I know who did this to you, and believe me when I say, they won't get away with it, okay?" He says walking over to me answering dangerously close.
"What do you want with me? Why are you trying to help me?" I whisper backing away from him slightly.
"I just want to get back the people that hurt you, because.." He says looking down at his hands. " I never got to get back at the people who once hurt me."
-
*Present time*
"Celine, you need to eat your food." Caroline says sitting down beside me in the cafeteria. I don't respond, I just continue starring at my food. " Look, I know you're mad, but you can't just shut everyone out including yourself."
The way I see it, no one can stop me from shutting the world out, so why should I not? Everyone thinks I'm crazy anyway.
-
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-B.C.
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Stockholm Syndrome (H.S. AU)
Fanfikce"I know they'll be coming to find me soon, but my Stockholm Syndrome is in your room. Yeah I fell for you." What happens when you find your love, but it gets taken away?
