Yukine x Yato ~ I would never replace you ~

Fluctuation

Ah isn't the sky pretty today? It's blue. bluer than ever. I never really care about the sky, or what it looks like, but boredom does things....

I pull the scarf up around my face more, breathing warm air to stop myself from shivering. It's also quite cold, I guess... Nothing much has changed here climate wise. My hands are freezing. They're usually warm.

I feel the presence of my Shinki somewhere nearby, I wonder what he's doing here? I sent him off to Hiyori so he could have a break from all this poverty for a while. I expected him to be shopping with her right about now. I guess he's not. I see him walking past the alleyway. He turns his head and sees me, then stops mid step. "Yato?" he mutters, as if he's in trouble. No, I mean, he can't be in trouble because I'm feeling fine. He hasn't blighted me or anything...

Yukine stays still for a few seconds before approaching me, avoiding my glance. "Hey, Yukine... What's wrong?"

"N- nothing... "

Could it be that he's suppressing his feelings to avoid hurting me?

"hey it's okay, you can tell me. Don't bank it up inside you."

"I'm just... I... I can't tell you okay so quit asking!" he shouts and runs past me.

I step back, suddenly clutching my my chest "damn it, Yukine... you've been bottling this up for so long..." I mutter to myself, collapsing to the ground. How could this be? How did he suppress such feelings? For so long? ghh I have to find him. I stand up and begin to run after him, the pain in my chest intensifying. Damn it, Yukine...

I feel tears burn my eyes, and it's unclear if it's because of the way Yukine is feeling... or because of me caring for him too much. I find my way around the smaller alley and crash straight into the garbage bin, tipping everything over and falling straight on my face. Ouch, that fucking hurt... I scrawl up to my feet and carry on running, looking around aimlessly for Yukine. "Damn it... YUKINE?!" I scream into the empty street as I exit the alleys. Looking around myself, I catch a glimpse of Nora, sitting on the roof of one of the buildings, her dress flowing down like fresh sakura petals. She gives me a small smile, a dreadful smile; and then I know that she's the one to blame for this. "Just let the boy go, Yato... he will eventually kill you. You have me. Just call my name."

"NO!" I yell. "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?"

Nora tilted her head slightly, in a way that makes me want to rip everything to shreds. She's always the problem.

"I only told him that he's hurting you and he should stop before he ends up doing something worse... I'm only looking out for you my dear Yato."

"You're lying..." I say and run away.

I keep running breathlessly, the air in my lungs running out. I'm a god, I don't run out of breath... what is this? I gasp out and drop to my hands and knees, taking long breaths. "S- Sekki..." I mutter, reaching out my hand. Nothing happens. Is he resisting me?

"SEKKI GODDAMN IT!" I growl, and push myself up. "YUKINE!!!!!!!"

After what seems like five minutes I finally find Yukine crying behind some trash can in an alley. I frown and lean beside him. He seems to have given up running, now he's just sulking. I can feel his pain building up in his chest. What on earth could be happening?

"Yukine... what happened? Tell me..."

"Why would you care?" Yukine brings his legs closer to himself and sniffles, putting his head in his arms. "Oh yeah... of course you'd care. Because what I feel hurts you too and you don't want to feel my pain!"

"It's not like that..." I mutter. Is that what he really thinks of me? Is that how I make things look?

"Of course it is. Let me guess... why did you kick Nora out? Why didn't you remove her name so she didn't have to be a Nora in the first place? You're going to do the same to me, because of the things I do, and the things I feel? You're going to abandon me, aren't you?"

I stare at him, starstruck. I didn't expect him to come out with all of this. I thought it was something like... he got rejected by Hiyori or something... but this...

I sigh and put a hand on his shoulder, leaning up close to him. "It's not true. Forget what bullshit Nora has told you. If it was so easy for me to give up on you I would have released you when you were blighting me. But I didn't. I refused to even when I knew I was going to die. So stop this, okay. What you're saying is nonsense." I stand up and look down at him seriously. His eyes move up but his head doesn't. He keeps it down.

"But... you did get rid of her... and now she wants to be taken back." he wipes his eyes and stands up "and when you can't resist her anymore you will... and what would I do then?"

My eyes dart down to the small cola can on the ground. "I thought you wanted me to let you go. I thought you hated this life. There are other gods you can turn to."

"But I don't want other gods, Yato! Goddamn it you're my god, my master, you're mine! I don't want Nora anywhere near you I want you and just you goddamn you... just listen." he put his fists to my chest, startling me "I know that you're homeless and shrineless and no one knows your name, and you're a stupid idiot who always fucks shit up but you're mine and I'm yours and I love you..." Yukine pauses, as if realizing what he just said. I see his cheeks turn crimson red... he actually said these words to me. It takes a few seconds to process before I take his arms, and do something really drastic. I kiss him and don't pull away.

I feel him tensing slightly but he eventually does kiss back, and this proves everything. His lips are so sweet, this intense feeling is immalleable. The coldness of the day melts away with our breaths. I feel the pain welled inside me disappearing with each second.

When I pull away, Yukine also looks starstrucked. His cheeks are still burning red.

"I love you too, Yukine. And you can be sure that I would never replace you."