Rebel love song - BVB

Chapter 1

We're bored to death in heaven
And all alone in hell
We only want to be ourselves

- Fallen Angels, BVB

~*~

"Mirror mirror on the wall whose the fucking fairest of them all," I mumbled  staring at my reflection in the dusty and finger smudged mirror.

The creature that stared back at me, wasn't who I wanted to be.
Flat, boring brown hair looked bland against my naturally tanned skin, my hazel eyes were grey in comparison to the sun, my plum lips a pale pink covered in lipgloss and dark bags sat under my warn out face.

My fist bawled beside me, tears threatened to spill. I screamed at myself. At the creature in the mirror. It wasn't who I wanted to be. I felt and probably looked fat, I was short, I had a terrible attitude about myself and the world.

I screamed some more, picking up my drawing book and all my school books.

The books fluttered and fell apart as I threw it at the mirror. I grabbed everything I own smashing it to the floor before I collapsed on my bed, tears streaming out like a waterfall.

I'd never be good enough.....

~*~

Tap.

Tap.

Tap.

I tapped my pen in frustration against the ugly wooden surface. Staring at the booklet in front of me. My mind as blank as a white wall. It was the end of year exams, and I hadn't learnt nor studied. I felt pretty stupid.

I glanced up at the clock on the wall. Watching the second hand tick by. Waiting for the time to flip over to 12:30, where I could leave from this torture.The scribbles on my pages meant nothing to the test but well I don't really know my shit and I had an hour to kill.

Finally on the last few seconds the teacher announced we could pack up and leave.

Grabbing my pencil case and locating my phone I grabbed it and rushed out, grabbing my bag as well.

I hurried past the groups of my peers, gossiping and laughing with their fakeness, pushing through the bathroom doors I hurried dumping my bag in a corner. I stood staring in the mirror, a pounding headache, stress on my shoulders. I stood there staring at myself, my tired, warn out face, the scars, the pain; you could see it all.

The memories of last night flooded back to mind and I grimaced, guilt and sadness flooded through me.

I took a deep breath, splashing water on my face and with a huff I turned around and faced the world again.

~*~

Finally the final hours of Hell flashed by. But the paths under my feet were leading me to my own personal hell.

Unlocking Pushing open the heavy front door, I made my way quietly inside, thankful no one was home and hurried down to my bedroom and shut my door. Dumping down my bag I let out a sigh of relief, my posters welcomed me, especial my black veil brides feature wall. These posters are family.