She held the pen and rolled it between her fingers. Her heart was heavy. She had been here so many times before. Just write him she thought to herself. Speaking on the phone and writing an email seemed so impersonal after so many years. A letter is more thoughtful she rationalized.
Dear Evan,
I can't seem to find the words to tell you how sorry I am for the way I acted all those years ago. My pride was bruised and I couldn't deal with the possibility of rejection from you so I decided to be the one to reject you. I know this letter is probably a moot point. I hear you are married with a son...
Her heart banged in her chest. Keep going, she told herself.
I wish you nothing but happiness. I just wanted you to know that it was never your fault. I was afraid to let you in completely. I regret pushing you away so deeply but understand that our time has passed. May your life continued to be filled with many blessings.
Love always, Ava
She sighed heavily. She laid her hand on her letter half of her wanted to crumple it up and half of her felt relieved that she had gotten to the end. She breathed deeply and began to think back of how it all began and where it went wrong.
