Chapter 1: Trouble ~ written by Taco Bell
Hi I'm about to tell you how I ended up stuck touring with One Direction. First let us start off with an introduction so you know who I am and all that crap.
I'm Laila Payne, Liam Payne's little sister, and I'm 13 years old. I live in Wolverhampton, England with my best friend Jaimie and we go to Pumpernickel Primary School.
It kinda sucks because most people think I'm lying when I say I'm Liam's sister. I honestly don't know why people find it so hard to believe. Liam and I have the same puppy dog brown eyes, brown hair and the same tan skin. The only differences are my hair falls to my waist and the fact that I don't sing.
This one girl Brittany Price ruined my life for good when she took it to a whole other level. I honestly didn't know someone could be so full of themselves. So enough about my background let me just tell you how it all started.
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"Hey Payne in the arse!" I heard Brittany scream. Jaimie and I glanced at her before continuing our conversation on the roof of the bus. How on earth did we get on the roof of a bus you ask? Well you see, what had happened was. When we were 11 Jaimie dared me to jump-start the old bus that always sat in the corner of the parking lot. Well I did it and we decided to drive it to and from school. It lasted about a month before a deer ran in front of the bus and we swerved off the road to avoid hitting it. Oh yeah, I crashed it into the trees next to the school's lunchroom. Good times, goooood times. It's been our hangout since.
"Payne I'm talking to you!" She screamed marching over to us.
"Huh?" I said cocking my head to the side. "Oh I'm sorry I don't understand b*tch" I said smirking at her angry face.
"Anyway, why is the All-European-Reject lying to people about being the Liam Payne of One Direction's baby sister?" she asked 'sweetly'.
"Well you see I'm not lying about that, but your parents lied to you when they said you were an angel. The truth is, you're really the devil's advocate." I replied in the same tone. She called me All-European-Reject because I've been from school to school all over Europe but never stayed too long. I was a bit of a bad@$$ and may or may not have been arrested 4 times. I may be in the eigth grade but age is just a number.
"Get your @$$ down here, Payne!" She screeched. I jumped down and landed lightly on my feet in front of her.
"Oui (pronounced: wee) Mademoiselle Advocate?" I was fluent in 23 languages. Instead of replying she slapped me in the face.
"Do you want to die today?" I asked in a low voice. She only smirked while backing up. When she was a few feet away she let out a loud whistle and most of the football (soccer) team came running at me.
"Oh, so you want to play it like that, huh?" her smirk only grew as they got closer. 10 against 1, no problem. I only shrugged and got into a fighting position.
"You're dead b*tch!" Devon, an eighth grader screamed throwing the first punch. I ducked and kicked his ankles making him fall.
The other guys came at me throwing fists from every possible angle. I caught one guy's fist and flipped him and he landed on two other guys. I crashed three guys' heads together Stooges style. One guy ran at me and I flipped over him, spinning in midair, I literally kicked his butt and he fell face-first into a rock. The last two tried to double team me but I back flipped out of the way at the last second and they crashed right into each other. That should do it, I dusted my hands off and looked at Jaimie who was making crazy hand gestures.
"Oh for the love of God! TURN AROUND!" she screamed. I turned just in time to kick Devon in the face and drop-kick three more guys. I punched two in the stomach and one in the face. I kicked one where the sun should never shine and slammed another's face into the side of the bus. I faced Brittany now who looked shocked and started shaking in fear as I approached her. I grabbed her arm and dragged her to the top of the bus.
"Try a stunt like that again and you'll be paralyzed, blind, and deaf for the rest of your life." I punched her in the stomach, face, and then dropped down kicking her ankles so that she tripped and fell four feet to the ground. Jaimie and I were about to high five when-
"Laila Payne, my office NOW!" Headmaster Bullocks screeched. I froze, shrugged, and jumped down. I'll probably get another detention or something. It doesn't really matter because either way I'm in trouble. But hey, it was totally worth it. I was really not expecting the punishment I got this time.
"You're suspending me for four months?!" She nodded. This is unbelievable! What are my parents gonna say? I think it's safe to say I'm in some deep sh*t.
