No one can live alone

Untitled Part 1

"You can't live alone forever!" the sage screams at him.

The sage is upset, he knows

The sage is angry, he knows

The sage is angry at him.

"You can't live alone forever. At some point you'll need someone's help. You'll need my help. No one can live alone forever, Ookurikara," the saniwa growled.

"I don't need any of you!" he growled, standing up.

"Ookurikara," the sage called, stopping after every syllable. The sword knows he should stop, the sword knows he shouldn't keep walking, because after all, deep down, the sword knows, that the sage is correct.

But he did,

He walked away and slid the door closed aggressively. He is injured, bad. There are cuts and bruises all over him. He knows that the saniwa is worried about him, he knows the saniwa only wants the best for him and yet, he had walked away.

Ookurikara doesn't take care of himself. He goes into battle recklessly and somehow survives. He knows, he is reckless, he knows too, that he was a failure, not a masterpiece the other swords were. He is a sword his smith isn't proud of. And so, he doesn't care much for himself because in the end, no one does. He'll die alone anyway, won't he?

He laid down in his room, thinking. His body hurt, but it didn't matter does it?

He rolled over to his side and curled his body, making himself seem smaller. Ookurikara looked at his hands, they are sticky with blood. In fact, his whole body is sticky and disgusting with blood. He should probably clean himself, but ah, how dizzy he felt...

A nap wouldn't hurt would it?

------

Ouch....

What the hell?

The stubborn sword opened his eyes to see saniwa cleaning the injuries on his arm. Reflexively, he swatted the gentle hands away from him and stood up.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"I- I was just-"

"I don't need your help. Go away," he growled.

"But-"

"GO. AWAY." He repeated, his voice venomous like a snake's and his hands swayed aggressively, meaning to create a distance between him and the saniwa.

The saniwa stood up, angry.

"Will you just cut that out? I think we both know you- no, NO ONE can live alone forever. Or do you want to die? That's it? Just like that? All my efforts in keeping you, taking care of you means nothing to our relationship as a sage and a sword? Well Ookurikara, I just have one thing to say to you: Do whatever you want. I don't care anymore! Die if you want to die! I. don't. care!" the saniwa said, marching out of his room.

The sword was shocked. The saniwa was always so gentle, so patient with him and his stubbornness. He didn't mean it to go this far. He didn't mean to hurt the saniwa- no, that's the whole point of it isn't it? He's supposed to distance himself, so no one gets hurt right? But why did the saniwa react like that? What more, he felt a pang of guilt when he heard the saniwa crying outside, but there's nothing he can do, is there?

Well, in the end everyone leaves don't they? It's for the better isn't it?

But he himself can't help feeling guilty. It was the first time he heard the sage cried.

I'm sorry,

It's for the better if there's nothing between us

He tries to convince himself, but it doesn't work.

-----

The sage cried,

The sage doesn't understand why he pushes himself away from everyone.

What do you want, Ookurikara?

I just want to help you, why can't you understand?

Why won't you let me?

The saniwa sighed.

The saniwa had been staring at the ceiling for some time now. The saniwa is still deep in thought.

It is late and the saniwa is awake, laying down, thinking when a voice intrudes.

"Master," his voice echoed through the room.

"Ookurikara," the saniwa replied, their voice monotone. "I- I'd like to apologize to you. I didn't mean to snap at you like that. I'm sorry. Your life is your business. I had no right to butt in."

The sword was speechless. He had been planning to apologize, but he didn't foresee this coming. What was he supposed to say now?

"I know, I know, this is stupid. It should have been obvious to me that you wanted distance, fine. I'm sorry for not respecting that," the saniwa's voice cracked. "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone from now on. Perhaps it is for the best for the two of us, isn't that what you think?" tears were dripping from the saniwa's face

Ookurikara clenched his teeth.

"Shut up." He said, gritting his teeth

"Shut up," he said again, his voice cracking.

"Shut up," he said, pulling the saniwa by their collar, forcing them closer.

He kissed the saniwa, square on the lips. "Just stop, just shut up," he said.

The saniwa kept quiet, their face shocked with disbelief, but not disgust, their hands slowly reaching to their lips, touching it every so slightly.

" Just- stop." He said, tears falling on his cheeks.

"Okay," the saniwa gently replied, putting their hands and his together.

"It's okay," the saniwa said.

----

"I thought If I distance myself, I could stop the both of us from hurting,"

The saniwa's eyes are gentle.

"I thought,- no, I didn't want to hurt you so..."

The saniwa's hands are soft.

"I- I was wrong. I need you, all of you, but mostly you," he said, voice cracking

The saniwa smiled, pulling him into a light hug.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." He cried.

"It's okay, I know."

He hugged the saniwa back.

"I know,"

"Thank you," he said, half whispering.

"Nn," the saniwa replied.

They let go of each other, both teary eyed.

"So, now what do you want?"

"I don't want to be alone... but I don't know where to start,"

"Why don't you start talking with the others?"

"Yes, Master."

"Nn,"

"Thank you,"