Equilibrium - #ProjectWomanUp

Five

I gulp. How can this be possible? How is she here? I turn slightly; my heart hammering hard. My hands sweat and my throat swells. But there she stands; her face a picture of shock and horror. My mother looks at me. And I look back.

"Mother" I finally say, giving her a small nod of acknowledgment. We look similar; with long blonde hair, large blue eyes and tanned skinned. However, she is a lot shorter than me. She looks up at me through long, heavy, lashes.

"You...you're a...how?" Her words fail her. I don't know what I am supposed to do – is there a way to handle a situation like this? I don't believe there is, or if there is; I did not get the memo. So I do want I do best – I hide my emotions, and act like I don't care.

I look into her eyes – our matching blue eyes – and raise a brow. "I am a Warrior yes" I nod, mentally cringing at how cold I sound. But I can't show weakness, so I continue. I turn to Blake, and loop my arm around his. "Come on Blake, we have to eat in the Warrior section before we go back to our Warrior training".

My friend just looks shocked, but I simply tow him with me as I walk away. I refuse to look back at my mother; I don't want to see her expression. Hurt? Anger? Disappointment? What was that old saying? What you don't know can't hurt you? I decide to take the proverb seriously, and not find out how she feels about me being a Warrior now.

"That was your mother?" Blake hisses to me – still confused and shocked. I ignore him as we make our way into the back room for the Warrior. We reach a black curtain, and the host holds it back for us. The chatter from behind the curtain dies down slightly as we walk in – well, when I walk in.

The room is simply set out – tables on one side, a bar on the other. There is little lighting, so the place has a dark, sober, feeling to it. Yet, the atmosphere is one of excitement and happiness. But then, it is always like that around Warriors.

Blake and I sit at a table, not talking. After a few seconds the chatter from the Warriors start up again. Soon, the room is loud and rowdy once more. It is odd, but I find the environment more comfortable than the quietness of the Civilian half of the restaurant.

After we get our food, Blake and I finally talk. "You were harsh to her" he says, through a mouthful of food.

"I didn't want her getting emotional" I reply, pushing my food around with my fork. I am no longer hungry.

"I understand" Blake nods, looking directly at me. I cock an eyebrow at him – willing him how to explain how he understood. "My father was a Warrior, so I don't actually understand killing a Red and then becoming a Warrior. But, I used to date a Civilian, I met her when I was only sixteen" he pauses, smiling.

"You loved her" I observe. Blake's smile turns sad, but he nods yes.

"I did love her, very much in fact, but she was delicate. Too gentle to date a Warrior. So when I began my training, I had to end it – I didn't want her to change because of me. The first time I saw her, after the break up, I acted like a complete asshole". Blake chuckles, but it was a dark and humourless laugh.

"It's easier that way" I conclude.

He nods, "yeah. It's easier that way".

Once we get back to the centre, and find our ways to our room, it is early evening. I take a seat on my bed, as Blake grabs a bag off his bed. "I have to run some errands, you alright on your own?" he asks seriously.

"I'm not a child" I roll my eyes.

"Nah, not a child. Possibly jailbait though" he winks, smirking like a small boy. I playfully hit his arm as I laugh at him. Blake offers me one more wink, before rushing out the room. I am then left to my own devices.