Love Me Now Or Later

Prolouge

"The Soul That See's Beauty, May Sometimes Walk Alone..."

Mom: "Logahn you have to learn, to face your problems head on! Everything will not always go your way! GOD YOUR SOO DAMN HARD-HEADED!"

Me: "Mom you don't understand! Why do you always blame me for everything that goes on within this dysfunctional family? I CANNOT live for everyone else, I have my own life! ... You know its funny how someone who abandoned her children for men & drugs can tell me to face my problems head on!" I said in so much frustration.

*SMACK*

Mom: "Let me tell you something little girl, I am still your mother regardless of my mistakes! IM NOT TELLING YOU TO LIVE FOR ME OR ANYONE ELSE! I'm telling you to NOT run from your problems like I chose to. To be better than me and your father, show people that your PAST does not reflect your FUTURE!" (She said as tears began rolling from her eyes.) "You don't understand yourself how much potential that you have, you are a beautiful, intelligent & sophisticated young lady. Regardless on how me and your father chose to raise you and your brother's, you guys turned out better than average and have a lot going for yourself. Don't let anyone take that from you guys, always remember where you came from and use that as encouragement to get further ahead in life. Regardless if you hate my soul, I will always love and support you."

Me: "Mom I don't hate you, I'm just mad that you didn't choose another or better lifestyle. I will never forget where I came from nor how I came up. I never stopped loving you or Dad even when you guys gave me every reason to stop...."

That was my last conversation that I had with my mother before she passed away from a stroke 3 years ago.

My mother was a beautiful woman, even after her addiction. She was only 47 years old. Even though we didn't have many memories together, that conversation seemed like one of many. She was a very intelligent women, that chose the wrong path. Her and my father had us at a young age, By 'US' I mean my (Oldest brother Bryson T. Riverra whom is 30 years old, Married w/ 2 beautiful kids. Tyler N. Riverra whom is 23 w/ a baby girl on the way & a trampy ass babymom lol. Then there's me Logahn, 21 w/ a handsome baby boy & 2 businesses)

My father wasn't much of shit but I guess you can say he tried...

Not many people know too much about my past not even people I grew up with. I wasn't to fond of laying my cards flat around anyone. Everyone was a snake in my eyes, shit can you blame me for having that mentality? Especially after I just gave you a little insight?

My own parents wasn't shit, but my mom encouraged me to do better & want better, all I had was my brother's.

My Grammy raised us as children but had gotten real sick and passed, which left Brys to take over at the age of 17 & believe me he did a damn good job of parenting.

He was into slanging drugs but kept it away from us, we never wanted for nothing & that made me respect him on another level for doing what he did, shit my parents couldn't even do it at his age.

Throughout everything we've been through in our life, it's only made us stronger.

But everything isn't always what it seems & everyone doesn't always play the role they were given.

The clock never stops .... You can't throw stones at a glass house & the cards that are dealt aren't always in the right hands.

Be aware of whom you trust & hurt, it's a cold world out here .....