Breaking Walls *Zayn Malik Fanfiction*(On Hold ~ Editing)

Prolouge

Prologue

There wasn't really exact point it started, it just kind of happened. Eventually I realized I wasn't the skinniest girl in the world. I had thunder thighs, chicken wings, fat rolls... I just wasn't skinny. I guess that if I had asked anyone else they would've said that I wasn't fat, that I was the perfect weight, but I didn't see it like that.

For a while I ignored it. I knew very well I didn't look good, but I tried to not let it bring me down. There were a few times where I would feel sick to my stomach from how much I ate, but I never acted on it.

Sophomore year was probably the closest time I could pin point my fear of food. That's when the bullying started. You see, I had never been very popular. I was really shy and never really had many close friends. In school I would just stay by myself and draw and when I was home I would usually hang out with my older sister, Dilan, so I never really made any friends. Eventually, the populars caught on to this and made my life a living Hell. They constantly teased me and called me things such as 'butter ball' and 'beach ball'. When I came home to Dilan she would insist that those girls were just being jerks and I was perfectly fine, but it didn't help. I believed every word they said, and I still do.

The summer between Sophomore and Junior year is when things started to get out of hand. I started my 'diet.' If anyone else knew of it they would think that I was crazy but to me it made perfect sense, and it still does. My diet was that I was only going to eat half of my regular calories, I was bound to lose weight that way right?

It went on like that for at least a month, me eating half of my calories. In mid-July, when I felt like I wasn't losing enough weight, I started excising. Now this may not seem like such a bad thing to you, and it really wasn't at first, but soon I was excising all day and still only eating half calories. I was constantly hungry. But I took that as a good thing. It meant that I was losing weight, and I loved it.

I kept up that routine all the rest of the summer, and I was fine. I had lost some weight so I thought that the bullying would stop. I was wrong. When I came back to school in the fall it seemed as if everyone had met up to figure out the best way to insult me and embarrass me. Dilan had gone away for her freshman year of college so I was left with no one to talk to. I did the only thing I could think of, lose more weight.

Soon it wasn't just about stopping the bullying, it was an addiction of sorts. I knew I was good at it, so why stop? I started eat less and less until I was barely eating enough to survive off of. By this time my mother had noticed something was off. She began making me eat in front of her sometimes instead of letting me just go up to my bedroom to 'eat'. I was worried for a while, I had no idea what to do. So I did the only thing that came to mind, I threw up.

Then came another addiction. Before when I was craving something I wouldn't let my self have it, now I could. About once a month I would eat until I couldn't eat anymore, then I would throw it up. No harm done. This way I never gained any weight, and I kept losing more.

All of this brings me up to current date. It's Christmas vacation and Dilan has come home. I know we are having a family dinner tonight, but I'm not worried. I can just get rid of it after wards. It won't be a problem.

A/N Okay!! Just to clear up any confusion that might be had, Dilan's name is pronounced exactly like Dylen! I just like this spelling better! OKAY I will try to update by next week but NOO promises!!

Otay bye

-Mabel :3