Right Next Door (ft. Zayn Malik)

21||Guilt

Zayn

Sydney storms out of the café and it leaves a pinch in my chest. I gulp heavily because I've never been in a situation like this before and I just don't know or what to do it how to act. It's driving me crazy.

I don't believe in fate. The idea that if we are meant to be, she'll come
back is a false hope that's named fate. And according to me, it's the most misleading thing ever.

I make choices. I choose what I want or who I want. I make a choice if someone is a part of my life or not.

So in the moment, I'm making a choice and it's the same choice that's making me get up from my seat and follow Sydney out of the café.

I watch her walk, her movements steady, showing no sense of hurry or rush. I do a quick jog that is more than enough to catch up to her. When I'm right behind her, I grab her elbow, spinning her around.

She looks angry, hurt and disappointed all the same. I look at her waiting for her to say something. Anything. She simply pulls her elbow away from my grasp and looks around.

"That's all you had to say?" I ask because she obviously is making no move to talk.

She bristles for a minute before gazing up at me, "Yeah."

"And I don't get to say anything?" I question, pulling her away to one corner because we are standing somewhere in the middle of the sidewalk.

"Do you have something to say?" She quirks, pulling away from me, again. It hurt because.. It just does.

"You waited all this while? For me to drag you out to lunch, just so you can say everything? Why does it have to be this difficult? Why can't you just talk to me, Sydney. I listened to you today. I will listen to you any day about anything you've got to say," I tell her.

I don't want her to keep her guards up because I won't hurt her. I can't hurt her because.. I like her and I want her to understand that I am not going to judge her for being scared. To let people in. When I say, I relate to Sydney, I'm not joking.

I keep staring at her waiting for an answer but the one she had given me shocked me.

"You don't have to listen to me, Zayn. Neither do I have to tell you. You just forced shit out of me. I am obliged to tell you everything that's going on in my life. We're not together. I can avoid you all I want, if I want to but again, it never was my intention. I just needed some time," she snips.

"Is that what it is about? We're not together? That I'm not your boyfriend?" I quip because that statement hit hard at me.

"This is about you forcing me to say things and then asking me why I can't say things to you. I don't say things to you because I don't want to. But you made say it. No part of this conversation was out of my own free will. I don't want to talk about things like these.." She says, completely avoiding what I ahead asked.

"You haven't answered my question," I remind her.

"Don't you think you're expecting too much out of me, Zayn? It's becoming burdensome," she says, her face giving no emotion away, her words coming out of her lips with no remorse.

I blink because she's done things to hurt me and say things to hurt more than anybody had done in six months. I bite my lip, shoving my hands into my trouser pockets.

"I.." I lick my lips, "I'm sorry you felt that way. I was just, I think put myself too much into this inspite of knowing we were just winging it. Sorry," I say, taking a few steps back.

"Zayn, I like you," Sydney says with a sigh. "But sometimes-"

I raise my hand stopping her, "I think I've heard enough today." I chuckle, rubbing my nose a bit,"I just- I gotta go."