Finding Love, Whiling Fading into Oblivion

Prologue

I'm alone in this world... I lost hope years ago... Every night ending the same, me by myself with my shadow. I lay by the window hoping to escape this oblivion I'm falling into. Every second of the day I am falling, constantly being dragged down by a demon. I'm on this cliff the cliff I call life. I slowly lose my grip on life I begin to fall.... So to make the day, (that my grip finally releases) come faster I cut.

As I stare out the window, blood falls from my arm. I wonder if someone will ever save me. I wonder if someone will ever come and pull me away from the cliff so that I could live a happy life. I wonder....

I close my eyes and begin to pray, "Please someone save me... Please someone come and save me from this oblivion. I don't want to be here each night, crying myself to sleep. I don't want to be alone ever day with no shoulder to cry on, no one to lean on. I wonder if I will ever find someone...... Someone who will light a candle in this small dark room. A dark room without an exit, a room with no way of escape, a room that is surrounding me with darkness..."

I close my eyes and begin to cry. Tears form at my eyes falling one by one at my feet....

-The Next Morning-

I wake up early, only to feel the sun shine on my face, as birds chirp. But unlike other people all I see is darkness. I go down stairs to see my mother.. Her eyes stab me like knives but there is nothing to say anymore. We hardly ever talk... Whenever she looks at me her eyes are always filled with sorrow. I can see that she is hoping and praying that one day we would talk like we used to. But that is now the past and this now is the present. She quietly says good morning with her back turned, she didn't even want to look at me. I said nothing as I grabbed my bag and walked out of the room.

School is even worse then home. I know no one. Everyone has there own group their own click... Everyone except me. In every class I sit alone, I did all group projects by myself. I didn't want anyone to be in my group and neither did anyone else. No one wanted to be in a group with me because I was the girl who self harmed... The girl that would one day kill herself. But they were probably right... One day I would let go of the cliff and fall into oblivion. So I was always alone...

Until a day at school that could change my life... "I want everyone to be in a group of two. And I will make sure that all of you get a partner to work with." The teacher shot a sharp look that stabbed me deep into my chest.

"Ugh I'm going to lose it. No one is going to work with me anyway. I don't even know why she is trying to help my grades now it's too late. I'm going to get left back which will end up with me dropping out of school. I really don't care anymore." I had thought to myself. My grades were dropping and school was slipping, nothing in life mattered anymore. All I wanted to do was leave this oblivion I'm suffering in.

"Hazel and Alex you both will be paired up together... Is that alright?"

Alex nodded his head and looked at me. "Hmmmm does he actually want to sit with me-no....no way he just wants to pass this class and by the end of the year he won't even be able to remember my name. There's no hope for a girl like me and a guy like him to ever become friends..."

The teacher stared at me waiting for a response, I slouched back and rolled my eyes. "Whatever", I said, the teacher gave a long deep sigh and continued on with her list.

"You're Hazel right?" Alex said, I stared down and started to cut myself with the led of the pencil. Alex stared at me in shock, he looked down at my arm and saw the scars and bruises that I have made. "Why would you do that to yourself?" he asked, looking scared as if I was cutting him... I didn't make a sound, I didn't want to talk to him.

He stared at me... I continued to be quiet... And he kept staring at me

Ugh will he just give up!!

"Anyway, I'm Alex", he said while giving a shy smile.

This is going to be a lone year....

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