The List

1. the funeral

The List

-forget-me-not-

1

the funeral

“…We are gathered here to mourn the passing of our dear friend, sister and daughter, Emily Joy Hart,” the priest intoned, sombrely. He wore plain black but then again, so was everyone else. I eyed his robes with a hint of envy. At least this wasn’t much of a change for him: he could feel comfortable. Not for the first time, I plucked at the hem of my plain black blouse with irritation.

“Emily Joy was a loving girl, a good daughter, a good sister and a good person to all who knew her.”

I hated the way the black swallowed me up. It felt like I was just another limb to the big black blob that was my sister’s mourners. I hated feeling like a background figure to this.

“She treated those she met with care and kindness beyond her years…”

And besides, I thought. It itched.

“…and for these reasons, she will be sorely missed in our hearts…”

As though she could sense my thoughts, my step-mother Gloria suddenly cast me a dirty look as if to say that’s enough Rose. But I couldn’t help it. My mind was running rampant, flitting from topic to topic. Gloria’s face had tear tracks all over it and she looked helplessly at my father who stood, his shoulders shuddering as he buried his little girl.

I noticed that his suit had chalk marks on the sleeve, little blue and white streaks that went well with his pale face and blue eyes. They match, I thought, idly.

“…all the more,” the priest suddenly added and my gaze tossed back to him. He looked about as old as my father and he had dark hair like him too. “Due to the short time we had with her and the tragedy of her passing…”

Oh Lord, I thought, queasily (were you allowed to say that at funerals?). They’re gonna talk about-

“…Emily Joy fought bravely for months,” the priest, who I suddenly remembered was called Father George, continued, gravely. “And it is with great sadness that we acknowledge both her defeat…”

Shut your piehole, you old fart. I thought, a certain amount of venom entering my tone. But of course, he didn’t listen so I sighed and went back to picking at my shirt.

“…and her victory, as she may finally be at rest, her health restored as she enters the kingdom of our Lord.” Father George said, sadly.

“What victory?” I snarled to myself but Gloria just tried to put an arm around me which I skilfully dodged, while pretending to be looking at the trees.

While Father George continued to moan on about the beauty of Emily’s new home in heaven, I studied her new home back here on Earth. It was nice out here, I supposed. The trees were green and the grass lush. As good a place as any but when I spotted the black gate enclosing the perimeter, I knew without a doubt that Emily would’ve hated it with immense fervour. She hated fences.

“God in heaven, take sweet Emily Joy into your loving arms, welcome her into the gates of heaven where she may reside in eternal peace. In your name, we pray for her safe return to you, our Lord and maker- amen.” Father George finished.

“Amen.” The rest of the mourners hummed together. I missed it, too busy thinking about the fence. Gloria overheard and cast me a slightly pleading glance. Beside her, our- sorry, my- father still shuddered with tears.

“I would now like to invite Emily’s friends and family to say a few words as their last goodbyes.” Father George said, glancing out into the small group, hopefully. My Aunt Jessica shuffled forward, gently patting Dad on the back as she went.