A Bump in the Road -- Watty Awards 2011 --

Chapter 9: The Bliss before the Storm

“I have Sherri coming over to pick you up in half an hour for a girl’s day out” Joseph told her the next morning over his coffee. “Joe; believe me, I’m not complaining but I thought you didn’t want me to leave the flat?”

“It’s only because I have the contractor coming over here today to knock out the wall between the flats and it will be way too noisy and disruptive while everything is knocked down – he’s leaving the blueprints behind tonight so we can draw up the plans and decide where we want the baby’s room. The carpets are being replaced and all the walls are being stripped and re-primed for when we decide on paint colours”.

“Well, I know I look like whale whose swallowed a beach ball, but do you think we could possibly christen that room once I’m back?” “You little minx you tempt me far more than is fair”. She sighed, “I know it’s all these second trimester sex dreams – but you wouldn’t want to hear about those”.

Spanking her lightly on the bottom – Joseph called out as she went out the door, “Sherri’s waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs – take care of my two girls!” “Aww Joseph I didn’t know you cared, sherries teasing voice called up the stairs”.

“Can I just tell you how humiliating this is? Having to be pushed around the mall in a wheelchair? I am supposed to get some exercise daily!” Nicole griped.

“Light, honey, light exercise, as in walking a tiny bit to try on clothes or look at cribs in the store. Not powerwalking the mall. Just be glad I talked Joe out of reclining power scooter that had a seatbelt”. “I love this wheelchair!” Nicole said sarcastically, wheeling into the first little baby boutique.

                After circling the store a few times, and fingering the soft linens Nicole turned to sherry with a little tube of cotton in her hand. “I’m giving birth to a cat”, she said deadpan. Sherri said nothing but immediately grabbed an insulin drink from her purse.

                “No, no I’m fine, really this time, I am. I meant look how teensy eensy weensy these little socks are, they’re like cat socks, socks for cats”. “Ok, ok now I get it Sherri teased, not insulin deprivation insanity, just the normal hormonal kind”.

Joking around, Nicole laid a little yellow onesie on her stomach. “How does this look? is this her colour?” Now it was Sherri’s turn to gush.

“Awwww how cuutee, wook at my wittle niece in there” she directed at Nicole’s bump – “Ok now don’t move im going to take a picture with my blackberry and send it to your daddy”. “I’m in a wheelchair and she’s in utero, where do you think we’re going to go?”

 And so Sherri snapped a picture of a blushing smiling Nicole with her hands holding down the tiny onesie stretched across her stomach. “I like this mommy thing” – Nicole said as she signed on the doted line of the credit forms of the baby furniture store with the sheets of shiny black and platinum credit cards that lined her wallet. An insistence of Joseph now that they were living together. 

In about 4 hours Nicole had picked out all the furniture for the baby’s room, oak wood painted a soft white that would match whatever paint colour they put on the walls. The bedside bassinet, the super secure, motorized crib with built in speakers  and security mat that monitored the baby’s breathing and heartbeat. The dresser, changing table, wardrobe and monogrammed bookshelves.

“All right girlie, let’s get you sitting down – I am starving so you must be famished – lets grab lunch”. They settled themselves down in a soft overlighted leather booth in one of the trendy bistros lining the mall.

“I’ll have the Jack Cheddar Burger and a fruit salad on the side – and an orange juice please, Nicole said, handing over the folded leather menu-ette.

“So…what’s happening with you and Joe?” Sherri asked putting a forkul of salad into her mouth. “I don’t know honey, I really don’t. I’d like to believe he’s staying for me and I believe he is, but I don’t know where we would be if it wasn’t for the matter of the baby. We’ll have to see what happens after she’s born. I love him with every fibre of my grossly enlarged being but…I think my pride may be too strong to allow myself to live with a man who doesn’t love me wholly, if I am going to have this baby I have to be strong and set an example for her, and being with a man who sees me as a human incubator or like the optimum lactation consultant isn’t the kind of example I want to set for her”.

 “Do you think he’d go for full custody?” Sherri asked this time swirling her spoon into the coffee Nicole was so longingly eyeing. “Only if it got ugly between us – I do truly believe he cares deeply for me now and I believe he believes that he loves me but when the cord is cut who knows if the emotional tie will be severed too. But I can’t and I won’t ever let him take this baby away from me I don’t care how much of a crapload of money he makes”.

 “Alright alright girl just chill out – you have to have the baby first and that’s not happening for another 4 months”.

 “Aahh, you’re right you’re right. Ok the beast has been fed – shall we continue with trying to stuff a pig in a pinafore?” “If you’re referring to maternity clothes shopping Nic then yes let’s go on. But while you start, I will be ri-ight-ba-aa-ck, so stay right here”. Sherri spoke as if she were addressing a two year old. “I’m running over to Staples to Xerox a huge pile of crap for HR, can you stay out of trouble until I’m back?” “Sher could you not talk to me like I’m challenged at the moment”. “Well as un pc as it is I do think of you as pregnantly challenged right now”.

 As Sherri marched away with her file-o-fax of paper, Nicole browsed through and took an assortment of clothes into the frilly girly estrogen bombed changerooms. Thinking to herself Nicole mused ‘Normally I would ask if these pants made my butt look big but now, compared to this baby belly everything else looks positively tiny in comparison. Who would ever have imagined I’d be dressing to show off my stomach, but what that means is that you’re getting big and strong baby girl”.

“Damn Nic you know it is so much easier to find you in a store when you’re pregnant”. “Why because I stick out a mile wide now?” Sherri’s voice echoed as she came into the changerooms. “No – I just listen for the crazy woman talking to herself”.

 Nicole sassed back, “I’m not talking to myself I am talking to the baby”.

 Arriving back at the apartment Nicole was gobsmacked to see a private elevator entrance that led exclusively to her flat. It gleamed silver in the sunlight hitting the side of the complex.

Mouth forming a silent O, Sherri for once had nothing to say. Nicole on the other hand could not keep silent. “What has that man done now? I leave for a day and he funds the new Trump Tower!” One of the number of milling construction workers flashed a toothy grin at her, the gold of his teeth clashing oddly with the silver platinum of the elevator that he assured her was now perfectly safe to use up to 3 tons. “Well” Nicole joked, “I guess I’ll have to use the stairs in my last trimester”.

 All the curtains and drapes had been taken down and the late afternoon sunlight streamed in the windows highlighting the swirls of sawdust particles in the air dancing above the freshly stripped floorboards.

Suddenly a large heavy mass caught her from behind and she braced herself for a fall but instead found herself breathless looking up into the grinning face of her bare-chested lover as he swooped her up into his arms – a considerable feat she thought wryly, and carried her across the threshold. “Do you like it?”

 Nicole said nothing but raised her face up to his and kissed him, tasting the saltiness of his sweat and the musty dryness of sawdust that had settled in his 5 o clock shadow that left Nicole’s cheek raw as they kissed deeper and furiously as though it was their last kiss leaving both their lips swollen. “Now who was it who said limiting love to the regions above was boring”.

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