Kill Me Softly

Chapter Eight

"Archer, I-I," I stutter, not knowing what to say. I find that I want to run away and hide under a rock to escape the piercing way the hybrid stares at me. He's angry at me again. It's the same anger I saw the day he told me he couldn't trust me anymore.

I look down but the image of him is already burned behind my eyelids. Silky brown hair falling into dazzling green eyes that used to be filled with affection and a mouth that used to smile pressed into a thin line is all I can see, even when I close my eyes. I want to laugh and cry at the same time. How is it possible that I can love someone and feel so awful in their presence? I dare another glance into those green eyes and wonder if this is what a broken heart feels like.

I open my mouth again, wanting to apologize for hurting him but can't find the words. How do I apologize for being who I am?

Before I get the chance to try, he looks away from me. Attempting to reign in his temper, he asks with a forced-calm, "Dax, Leilani, could I have a moment alone with . . . Viridian." He hesitates before saying my name, like it hurts him to say it. I shrink into myself, wishing I could disappear.

"Do I disgust you so much that you can't even say my name?" I question softly as the witch and the shapeshifter vanish into the dark forest. Dax's keen ears probably pick up every word, but I don't care. I need to know how far away I've driven the only man kind enough to love me.

He says nothing at first. The hybrid just stares at me for a long while, as if memorizing my face. I do the same, wondering if he's come here to kill me for my crimes. It's only fitting. My life for all the lives I've taken. I smile a sad, humorless smile. If only he knew how much I'd give to take back the past.

"No," he says eventually. The anger in his eyes lessens slightly. He runs a hand over his hair like he's choosing his words carefully. "No, you don't disgust me, Viridian." This time he doesn't hesitate to say my name.

I pause, unsure. "So you're not here to kill me then."

Archer frowns at me, like he hasn't any idea what I'm talking about. "Kill you? Is that really what you think of me? That I'm so cruel I'd kill the woman I love in cold blood?"

My heart flutters in my chest when his lips form the words. He said "woman I love". He still loves me after everything I've done? I don't know whether to smile or to cry. So, instead, I bury the emotion and try to be rational for once. He said he still loved me but the distance is still in his eyes. He doesn't trust me anymore, not like he used to. I smile bitterly. I know what he sees when he looks at me. It's the same thing I see when I look at Ryder: a monster.

"Why did you come then?" I ask, avoiding his heated questions. He shouldn't be wandering through the woods alone. Now that Octavian knows about his nowhere is safe.

He frowns and shrugs. "I saw Dax and Leilani sneaking out and wanted to make sure they weren't getting themselves into trouble. After Leilani was kidnapped by that incubus, I made it clear that no one was to leave the premises without my approval." He raises a dark brow at me and says almost scoldingly, "however, I didn't expect you to be here."

And there it is, the didn't-I-tell-you-to-never-come-back tone. I cringe. So much for niceties.

"I know. I know," I whisper, trying to swallow the emotion that threatens to choke me. "I shouldn't have come but I needed you to know that your life is in more danger than it has ever been before. Octavian knows where you are and he's going to send someone to collect you. You must know that whatever he has planned for you won't be pleasant. It'll be the worst thing you've ever experience, so you need to leave."

Archer nods, taking this in. He appears calm, not terrified like he should be. He gestures to where Dax and Leilani disappeared into the trees. "That's why you told them you were going to sacrifice yourself to Octavian? To save me from him?"