Ravaged // h.s. au

11.

Zayn

I watched him through the glass window. He had asked me to let him do it alone, and I agreed, not simply to respect his request, but because I knew the chances of getting information from him would be higher if Harry was in there alone. I also knew he needed to know that, if he had any chance at all of returning to himself. Cleo had accompanied Louis to take Gypsy and Hazel home, and after Liam and Niall had finished their meeting with the social service agent, they stood by me, as Harry roamed around Rodriguez, with his hands behind his back.

" How did you receive your money, Mr. Rodriguez?"

" I got anonymous checks in my mail. I never met him."

" Bullshit." Harry called, resting both his palms onto the table, and leaning towards Rodriguez.

" You had to have met at least once, to actually make that deal. We have security footage of you, with a man, right outside this station. So, let me rephrase the question, how many times did you meet up with Joshua, fully knowing that he's wanted for several crimes and is in personal... lets say, dispute, with this station?"

" He threatened me, and my family. You have to understand. We were barely surviving and with the hijack crisis, they were letting officers go left and right. I did it for my family and-" Harry fisted the table, pushing it against him, almost knocking all breath out of him.

" Don't do that. Don't victimize yourself. You weren't thinking of anyone but yourself. You divorced your wife for trying to do the right thing, and now she's dead."

" Wh- what?" The man's once fearful face, had deformed with grief, disbelief, and remorse. His eyes welled up with tears, that Harry chose to disregard.

" She was found murdered in her apartment the day before yesterday. Gunshot." I watched as Harry distanced himself away, features twisting as if he had tasted something sour. His eyes found mine through the glass window, and I feared he'd lose it. But he soon turned away, clearing his throat, and falling back into his role.

" You were here so it wasn't you, so, would you like to take any guesses as to whom had murdered your ex-wife?" The man's mouth opened and closed several times, silent tears falling against his cheeks, as he looked down upon his hands.

" I loved her. We were happily married for over 10 years. She was the love my life. Everything I had done, I had done for her, and then for the kids. And when she- when she turned me down, when she started looking at me as if I was some kind of psychopath, I was so, mad at her. I didn't understand why she didn't get it. She always got me, but it was like, her innocent mind couldn't process this. She always told me to be a man that my kids would be proud of, and I guess in her eyes, I lost that when I agreed to that deal. Still, I didn't want to let her go, not until he-"

" I know how this story ends, Paul. You didn't want to let her go, not until he told you to. He told you that she was on to you, and that she would turn you in. He told you that she was a threat and she needed to not be in the picture anymore."

" No! He never said anything about getting rid of her! If I had known, I never would have taken the deal from the start!" The man cried, standing to his feet, through the handcuffs tying him to the table.

" But you did, and now she's fucking dead, Paul! You let him do this to your wife, you might as well have killed her yourself. You let her suffer through it all by herself. You weakened her, you broke her, and just when she couldn't take it anymore, you allowed him to pounce, and take her away. She's gone because of you. I hope you can live with yourself with her blood on your hand."

Harry had looked past the case. He had looked past Rodriguez and his wife and even Joshua. He was speaking of himself now. I could see it in his eyes; the rage, the self-loathing, the guilt, that he'd never allow himself not to feel. Harry hit his file against the table, walking out, and slamming the door behind him. He came into the room, and once his eyes met mine, it was as if it reminded him, of his surroundings, of the settings in which he found himself. He quickly looked away, laying the file onto the table.

" He didn't know. Now, we gave him more reason to help us against Joshua. Let him cool off, and then we can talk to him again." Harry shakily spoke, although, he managed to constrain himself better than I had expected. If you hadn't known his story, you never would have been able to trace his anger back to his own wounded soul.

" Alright. You can go home, Harry."

" No, no. I need to look through the files, see what I've missed."

" You're no good to me worn out, Harry." He smiled weakly, running a hand through his hair, and it was the first time that I had allowed myself to take in how absolutely drained he seemed to be by it all. He had lost significant weight, his hair fell out through his fingers, the dark circles beneath his eyes became prominent, almost, permanent. He looked nothing like the Harry we knew, and I was once again reminded that he wasn't.

" I'll just get some coffee, and I'll be at your office, if that's okay with you?"

" Of course, yeah." I nodded, although, my mind was unable to process the hesitation behind his request, when he should have known that he didn't need one at all. Again, he forced another smile towards me, then towards Liam and Niall, before he disappeared out of the room, carrying himself with great difficulty, almost as if he couldn't shield that weight away any longer.