Blind as They See

Such an Idiot

I should have never wanted to come back, you know. I let you toy with my feelings. How dare you lie to me like that? Let me think that you loved me equally. I wouldn't even feel the littlest bit guilty if something happened to you. Anything to pay for what you made me feel. I guess I would be lying thinking that I still care all that much. You are always on my mind. Such negativity you give me. How could I be so blind as to think that you wouldn't stab me, either? I've been depressed and wanted to be dead for so long, and you knew. You knew how much I loved you. You knew that I would try to push you away and I would make an excuse to come back because any second away from you was torture. You knew that I loved getting messages from you. I loved to tell you things I didn't want to tell other people. You knew what we had was special and you abused that. You left me. I may have been the last to leave, but guess who shunned me for their lover and let me live a lie? I was the one who was supposed to see that. I let love get in the way. But I knew I'd never find someone. I'm too 'horrible' and 'bad'. Reminding you of someone else, huh? You were supposed to be the light to love and happiness and optimism and life for me. All I can think of is how you killed me inside.