Book 2: She's Out To Please (Duff McKagan FanFic)

Ch. 5: Five Bucks

"He got the job!" Steven cheered, lifting his bottle of Night Train into the air. "Cheers!"

"Cheers!" The rest of us said in unison, our bottles all clinking together, the liquid inside sloshing everywhere.

We all chugged from our bottles for a moment, the silence letting Steven's announcement settle in. It was true. I had scored a job and everything was finally looking up.

Izzy had pushed enough drugs to pay the rent, while Slash and Axl had scored some money in tips for playing some of our songs on the sidewalk, and Stevie had gotten his check from the nearby restaurant where he was the dishwasher. Tonight, we celebrated with Night Train and bags of greasy McDonald's. As a bonus, some girls Axl and Slash had met while performing would be heading over later with the promises of sex and drugs. Life didn't get much better than this.

"So, tell us about the job, man," Izzy began, pulling out a cheeseburger and biting into it.

"Fuck that. Tell us about all the sweet ass," Slash insisted, stuffing handfuls of fries into his mouth.

"Is it true that they wear skirts?" Steven asked innocently, his eyes widening in wonder.

"Of course it's true," Axl laughed. "If it wasn't, then what would we have to look forward to?"

They all were staring at me expectantly, waiting for answers. I smiled to myself, a perverse sense of pride coming over me. I felt like I had the biggest balls in the band right now. All eyes were on me and I could tell them anything I wanted to in this moment, and they would probably believe it.

I smirked. "They do wear skirts. And ties. And..."

I paused for some suspense.

"Stockings."

"What?" Steven gasped, his eyes bulging. I was sure he was going to go into cardiac arrest at any moment.

"No way!" Slash chuckled.

"I'm serious!" I insisted, grabbing a burger out for myself. "I mean, they're not one of those lacy numbers, but they're hot anyway."

"I'm gonna' die..." Steven flopped onto the floor dramatically.

Izzy snorted at Steven's antics, kicking his pretending-to-be-lifeless body lightly with his foot. "You'll be fine."

"You been hit on yet?" Slash pressed, ignoring the others and watching me with an intense stare. I wondered just how much of a sick thrill he was getting out of this but, at the same time, I didn't blame him. If it were me, I'd be just as keen on hearing every little detail that I could.

I didn't know if I wanted to tell them about Mary yet. Not in this way, anyway. I didn't feel too good about bringing her up in a conversation about sex with my friends. It didn't sound too appealing of an idea to bring her up only to hear about all of the things my band would want to do to her if she ever happened to be naked and in the same room as one of us.

So, I simply shrugged and told them about the other girls. "A lot of them are pretty young and immature, you know? Just gawking and whispering and giggling at me."

Steven smiled. "That's cute. They probably have little crushes on you."

"Yeah, well, then there's this one bitch," I began, talking around my mouthful of burgers and fries. "Some teacher named Ms. Kazio. She's got a stick up her ass, but she's hot as hell. Got a real nice rack and everything."

"Maybe she's really got a dildo up her ass," Axl joked. "Does she walk funny?"

I shook my head. "Actually, her hips sway in this really sexy way. If she does have a dildo in her ass, she really knows how to work around it."

Axl smirked. "I bet she does."

"Who would do that?" Steven asked with a laugh, despite a look of disgust on his face.

"Some people are into that," Izzy said with a shrug. "They get a huge kick out of doing dirty things like that in public and having no one know about it."

"You seem to know way too much about this, Mr. Stradlin," Slash accused with a chuckle.

All of us laughed, including Izzy.

"Hey, I knew this one chick back in San Fran who was way into that kind of stuff. She'd walk around in skirts with no panties on or would give guys foot jobs under the table at restaurants. She was pretty crazy. Best sex of my life, come to think of it..." He trailed off, his mind obviously miles away by now as he thought back to his days with this freaky chick and her under-the-table foot jobs.

"Holy shit," Axl broke off into laughter. "How much you wanna' bet that that teacher is exactly like that?"

"What?" I spluttered, nearly choking on my burger.

Axl nodded, a shit eating grin on his face. "Seriously. I bet you right now. Five bucks says Kazio is a freak."

I rolled my eyes. "You don't even have five bucks to bet with."

He shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of his drink. "Okay, so when I do have five bucks, I'll give it to you. Only if you prove me wrong, of course."

The rest of the guys were in hysterics at this point, amused at the idea of Kaz walking around with dildos in her orifices. I wasn't too worried about it though. After dealing with her all morning, I was fairly certain that the woman probably didn't have a husband simply because she couldn't get one. She was too uptight and bitchy. No way would someone like her do something as wild as that.

"Fine. You're on," I said half heartedly, positive that there was no way I could lose this bet. Even if she was some pervert, I would never get close enough to her to find out. I planned on avoiding her for the remainder of the school year. "Five bucks, man."

"Five bucks," Axl echoed, reaching out his hand for me to shake. We met in the middle, and clamped our hands together in agreement.

"The easiest five bucks I'll ever make."