"Poetry: From the Mind of a Girl Who's Alway's Running"

15

Have you ever had images play through your head.
Of you going insane.
Screaming.
Busting everything.
Ripping out your hair.
Killing yourself.
A blade cut too deep.
Laying on the floor with a phone just out of reach.
Crying.
Shaking in a corner.
Digging my nails deep in my own skin.
Wanting to die.
Wondering.
Asking why.
Wishing I could change.
Go back and replay everything.
Hoping for a better tomorrow.
Choke on thin air.
Wishing you could just breath.
The voices in my head get louder.
Tempting me more.
I wish I could just be normal.
The girl next door.
That life isn't possible.
I'm too enveloped in myself.
Too boxed in with my mind.
I need help but I'm scared.
Not sure why.
I sit alone at night and cry.
Feel like a screw up.
I ruin people's lives.
My normality is different from the regular.
I need a razor blade just to feel better.
It numbs the pain I feel inside.
I'm just another victim of this "JoyRide".
A Hells angel to the world.
Just a little, quiet, lonely girl.
That everyone talks about.
These assholes think the shits funny.
I just ignore them.
Just let them have their laugh.
They don't know me.
They probably couldn't begin to comprehend my past.
All these people say I'm strong.
I guess they don't see the cuts and bruises on my arms.
Ugly.
Fake.
Selfish.
Slut.
Annoying.
Not good enough.
Horrible.
All these voices in my head make me wish I were dead.
It's all my fault.
I brought this onto myself.
Who would want to deal with me.
Weak.
Selfish.
Little girl.
"Oh she just wants attention."
No, I don't give two shits about these people.
Just trying to make life harder.
I don't care for attention.
I long for solitude.
Peace.
A heaven out of this hell.
I want to get out.
I want to bust through all these mirrors.
Step through to see a better view.

~M.A.B. 💘