It's a small town. With small minded people that were slowly suffocating all of the life in me. My moods were of an obscure relic of imagination and isolation. I take everything and keep it locked away in a safe. Far from anyone who will destroy the mere purity of what I perceive life to be. All this life was is what life is not; it's a whole load of moonshine.
Dalia, Dalia Tahweer. It means grape vine or olive tree.
Mum was a protector, she tried to protect me but in a world so profane to corruption I was bound to be corrupted. So the day mum saw the scars on my wrist, was day she shut me out. I guess she couldn't comprehend the fact that her precious Dalia would tear skin to relish her anger and sadness. My mum became raw and cried a lot. I know it was me, it was always me. It was the doctors who told her about my depression, my health and every other shit they "cared" about.
No one understood. No one will ever understand. And that's how it's going to be till I die. Which is odd since I counted myself in with the dead, I fit in with them. A walking zombie I am.
School was a headache, I was a -C and my parents weren't happy with that. But because of my "sickness" they excuse me. And I just keep getting worse. At school it was culinary, I was resemblance of death and no one wanted to hang out with death. In some way I'm glad because I'm different, I've always been and they're all the same. I don't want to be like them. They laugh, I cry. They smile, I cut. They judge, I die. It's not pretty, honey.
The only friend I had was a boy named Kaylum, a tall Swedish with piercing blue eyes. He would hang out with me when I wasn't drowning in books and actually paying attention, otherwise he'd be with his friends. He was cool, I mean he wasn't great. Like everyone else; he didn't understand. But it was hard for him; you see I was like broken pieces of glass; one slip and I could scar your skin. But I loved him nevertheless, and it was mutual.
Everything moved fast, life, love, and the trees. My legs were aching but I couldn't stop and I just kept on running. Forests of pine were what I was trying to oust run. The world seemed free and the wind made my cheeks red. I came to a stop at a park, watching the sun dipping its self in the layers of reds, yellows, orange, purple and blue. The stars still shone and it was perfect. This was what I kept locked up; my own world. I sat in a tree admiring everything that made me, me. It was when a sudden crack of branches did a boy; with bright orange hair just like the sunrise, appear. He sat down and stared at the sunrise, he gawked at the uttermost beauty of it. And somehow I didn't like it.
My foot hits the ground and the leaves crunch under my feet. And the orang-utans attention is tuned to the tree that seemed to just have made a noise.
"Is anyone there?" he says and I peek from behind the tree. I watch him as he heads straight for the tree. I slowly move around with my back pressed against the trees bark. And I can hear him moving around. And we're moving in unison, not being able to catch each other. We make a few full rounds around the tree until my body clashes with something that is definitely not the tree, it's too soft. And when I turn around I freeze. And wow those eyes, they're wild and green. And my breath is stuck in my throat because I can't find words. And the green eyed boy stares at me. And I can see the smog being formed whenever he breathes out. And my mind is fumbling. And I say something so stupid I regret it the moment it leaves my lips.
"You shouldn't stare at the sun like that." He looks at me, confused as hell. My cheeks redden and I try to explain more. "It's rude."
"It's beautiful." His lips curve and I ogle at its redness.
"But it's mine." I notice the falter in his smile and the way his eyes scan my face, looking for emotion. Looking for some resolution but I don't have any because I'm just as confused as him. And I keep getting more complicated. "You can find your own sun somewhere else."
He gapes at me and his irises grow bigger. And the sun shines on his skin. And his skin shines. And I wonder if his vampire. And I hope he is because I'm so sick of people. And his lips form words that create something I don't want to feel, something I've never felt before.
"I th- think I've already found one."
