** I'll let ya get right to the story this time!
I grabbed a T-shirt and pajama shorts and took them into the bathroom with me. I turned towards the shower and turned the hot water on. I slowly took off my clothes, shedding each piece slowly. I could barely move my wrist and blood was still trickling down my arm and dripping off the tip of fingers. I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror.
The person staring back at me wasn't me. I always had an expression on my face. This person had no expression on her face. It was like staring at a stone wall. It wouldn't move and didn't show any expression, no sadness, not anger, not fear. It was blank. Even her eyes seemed dull. The scrapes along the side of her face hid it even more. I didn't even recognize the face staring back at me through the mirror.
I studied her face in the mirror until steam slowly obscured her face and I could no longer see it. I started to feel tears flow down silently over my cheeks. I turned around and walked into my shower. The water that flowed over my face simply blended in with those streaming down my face. I flinched when the water hit my cut, but the pain slowly faded away.
I washed my hair with only my right hand, my left hanging uselessly at my side. I washed the blood off of my arm. I watched the blood mix with the water then travel towards the drain. I watched, mesmerized, as the blood water swirled around the drain and then disappeared, never to be seen again. Slowly the water returned to the clear state that it's meant to be in.
I turned off the shower and slowly walked out. I wrapped the towel around me and walked back towards the sink. I opened the medicine cabinet and saw that it was stocked full of bandages and gauze. Normally I would have laughed that they had this many bandages. Injuries were an all too common occurrence around here. Instead I didn't even feel the slightest desire to smile.
I wrapped and covered all of my injuries again, wishing that I could make them all disappear. I slowly put my pajamas on and glanced back in the mirror. The stone-faced girl was still staring back at me.
I turned away, ashamed of what Blade had been able to do to me. He was able to crush me in less than ten minutes, no he didn't crush me, he sent me to hell.
I walked back out into my room and climbed into my bed. I pulled the covers up close under my chin. I grabbed an extra pillow and clutched it to my chest. Lexie walked over and looked like she was about to say something to me. She stopped when I looked up at her. I knew she was looking into the face of that stranger, that expressionless stranger.
She turned around and walked quickly out of the room. The door shut quietly behind her and I was left alone in my dark room. I shut my eyes and tried to will myself to sleep.
As I slowly drifted into the sweet oblivion of sleep, images started appearing before my eyes. I was watching the blade run across my arm, the scarlet blood appearing immediately. I saw Blade looking down at me, pity nowhere to be found in his eyes. His face was immediately replaced by that of a man, a man who was supposed to raise me and care for me, the man who was supposed to be my father. He was smiling down at me, a look in his eyes that I knew all too well. It was the look that haunted my nightmares.
"I always knew you would be a failure. I tried to prepare you, make you tough. I didn't make you someone who collapses because of some stupid boy who can play with a knife. I never thought that you would be that weak. I tried to make you into a strong person. Why didn't you fight back? However, it was expected. You disgust me."
I whimpered listening to him say these things to me. I knew that he wasn't here. I knew that he could never get anywhere hear me ever again. I knew that he was out of my life completely, and yet I could never be completely free of him. He would always have a hold on me, no matter how hard I fought to escape his grasp.
