Misbehavin'- Only One on My Mind: Kavi Story

Chapter 18

Important A/N: Again, I feel the need to apologize for how slowly I have updated the last three chapters. Especially considering the first 13 chapters were published consecutively every day! But my life just picked up and got busy! Because I work in retail, with the holiday's coming up I will pretty much stay this busy for the next couple of months! But I love writing this story, and I won't be giving up on it!

Also... Even though this is MY story where I have complete creative control, I do feel the need to apologize for the direction I'm going in with this story. After reading how disappointed all of you were in what happened in Chapter 17, I feel sad for you! The truth is, I  had always planned it this way, and I'm committing to it.

Things will get better, I promise!

Kirstie's POV:

Our baby was gone. I knew this. 

In the car to the hospital we stayed quiet. I tried as hard as I could to cry as silently as possible, but must have failed. I suddenly felt Avi's hand reach over and take mine. I cried harder, what had I done wrong? Why? 

I knew that we had lost the baby. My dream of Abuela and the baby girl replayed over and over in my head. That was my baby she was holding. That was my baby she took, and disappeared with. I cried all over again, filed with silly regret. Why didn't I take the baby? Even in that dream, I should have held her, I should have told her how much we loved her, I should have kissed her. 

I should have begged Abuela to stay. 

I knew it was silly of me to think that I could have had some sort of control in a dream, but still I wished. Should have, could have, would have...

At least she was safe. She was with someone who loved her, somewhere. She would be okay.

Avi's POV:

I wish I could take it away from her.

The pain she was feeling. I wish I could fix it. I have never tried so hard to be so strong before this moment now.

She needs me. God, I hope she need's me, I need her. I need her to need me.

We arrive at the hospital. I'm still tightly holding her hand. We check in at the emergency room. I focus on my breathing, and my footsteps to avoid completely breaking down. She's in pain, and is complaining about cramping, so they sit her in a wheelchair and a nurse ushers us towards the maternity ward/OBGYN unit. I'm asked to wait in the sitting room while they go into a room.

"I'll be alright," she gives me a faint smile, tears stained on her red face. I nodded slowly letting her hand slip out of mine. As soon as the door closes I notice that I am completely alone. It's 3AM. I'm surprised I even make it into a chair before I completely break down and just cry. I can't believe ALL of the things she and I have gone through. 

While no one has said so yet, I know the baby is gone. 

I'm not nearly as religious as I probably should be, but in the moment I begin to pray. I ask for protection, and peace for us. I ask for Kirstie's health. I beg for the baby to be ok... I ask for another one.

Kirstie's POV:

There was supposed to be a heartbeat. 

I was examined by the gynecologist, and given an ultrasound where we actually saw the tiny jellybean shaped figure. But we should have heard a heartbeat by now. The doctor came to the conclusion that it was really gone.

She explained to me that within the next 10 days or so my body would continue to pass all of the materials naturally and that I can expect to experience blood clotting and cramps. I might even see the 'sac' come out. I didn't want to think about actually seeing it. I just wanted to sleep through it all.

The doctor let Avi in and explained everything to him again, even showing him the ultrasound. He was absolutely heart broken. I could see it all over his face. He was so excited about this baby. He was gonna be someone's dad.

I wanted to tell him he still was someone's Dad.

Avi's POV:

We entered my apartment. She didn't want to return to her bedroom yet. So she packed a small bag and brought Olaf up.

The car ride was quiet and she was still silent. I could tell she was in pain. She was advised not to take anything, so she just had to tough it out. I still wished I could take this all away from her.

For the first time in the last half hour we made eye contact. 

"I'm sorry!" she sobbed. I rushed to her side and scooped her up tightly.

"Don't say that Kit!" I hushed her, "This isn't your fault at all. It happens." I peppered her head with kisses, trying to kiss her pain away for good. She continued to cry mumbling apologies into my chest.

"I know how excited we where about this..." she said wiping her eyes. I thought for a moment.

"Let's try again!" I said taking her hands. She laughed a little, shaking her head no.

"It's alright, Avi." she sniffed, "Really, it's alright!" she tried to smile past the tears. "I had a dream last night. You know my Abuela?"

"You mom's mom?" I ask, "The one that passed?" she nodded

"She took me back to the house I grew up in. She had our baby, and she took her away with her." she paused giggling to herself. "It was a girl, Avi."

I broke down, pulling her towards me. I could feel my heart breaking. I had a baby girl. I wanted so badly to have her. We held each other, rocking back and forth.

"It's ok, Avi" she whispered, "She's safe."

A/N: Now, I'm crying.