Star Wars: A Long Drabble Ago

SSR Projects

A/N: Okay, so this "book" is going to be my own collection of drabbles, short stories, and one-shots that I've written, but I thought I'd start it with a little fanfic diary entry "story". In my English class, we were assigned to do projects concerning the books we'd been reading on our own during our SSR time. Of the project options given, I chose to do four diary entries from a character's POV about the events in the book. Of course, me being the fangirl I am, I did this project on Star Wars: Legacy of the Force Invincible. So, here's a little story from Jaina Solo's POV about the events of Invincible by Troy Denning.

1

Dear Diary,

Today, I finally proposed my plan to the Council. It was no fun, I can tell you that much. I had gone into that meeting room knowing what the worst part was going to be before I even began. And I was right. Just asking the Council to let me kill Caedus was hard enough, but watching Mom and Dad trying to hold it together and supporting me . . . I wanted to run away screaming. I wanted to tear my hair out and beg Uncle Luke to do it for me. But, I can't. It wouldn't be right. Through my uncle, the Force named me Sword of the Jedi and if this is what it's supposed to mean, I have to do it. I have no choice.
I've already come to terms with that kriffing awful fact. Thanks to my training time with [Boba] Fett, Mirta, Gotab, Venku, and Beviin, I have learned that my brother, Jacen Solo, is long dead. Thanks to the true Force auras my parents try to hide behind veneers, I have come to realize that Caedus killed the sweet, loving, caring brother I miss so dearly. That is why I must do this.
You may pity me, reflect on how sad this must be for a sister who loved her brother until he no longer loved her back. And, yes, I will admit, it hurts. But, quite honestly, I don't have time to pity myself. Or to even meditate on what I'm going to do. It's just another part of the Solo lifestyle.
Anyway, the Council agreed with my proposition. Master Durron even said they'd foreseen it! The fact that they'd been talking about it at length already just goes to show how we see my twin brother now: again, the long-dead Jedi Knight who died of his wounds in the Yuuzhan Vong War sometime after his captivity with Vergere. Yeah, thanks a lot, Vergere.
At least, I have one of the hardest parts of my plan completed now. All I have to do now is . . . actually do it. Fierfek, I'm going to need so much therapy. Force, help me!

2

Dear Diary,

I saw Allana for the first time today. She's so beautiful, small, and innocent. It makes me wonder how Jacen could have started down this dark path and become Caedus. When he has such innocence to protect, how could he be led so astray? It made me think about Grandfather, too. Though I never met the man, Sith or Jedi, but I truly had to think a moment about how he too could take such a dark turn when he had so much to protect and worry about. That's when I realized the answer to my question was ridiculously self explanatory. They decided on their dark path to protect their loved ones. As twisted as I see it, I have to make myself understand it the way that they must have seen it. It's no coincidence that they both chose to join the Sith around the time their children were born. It was once I realized this that I began seeing their side of things so clearly. How far will I go to protect them, they must have asked themselves every day. What all am I willing to do to keep Padmé, the baby, Tenel Ka, Allana safe? How far into the darkness will I go to keep them in the light?
Is that true love, I find myself wondering. Is that the right kind of love when it comes to a father and his wife, children? And how, with that goal in mind, could they both get so off track that they completely lose sight of their humanity and end up hurting their children worse than they were hurt before it all started? I know Mom still has scars on her back and shoulders from the interrogator droid on the first Death Star. It's impossible for Uncle Luke's right hand to grow back. And, I'm willing to bet Allana will never forget the time when her father kidnapped her from the Hapan Royal Palace. Those kinds of scars tend to stick.
I, as Allana's aunt, am prepared to do everything I must to preserve her future, let her be a kid again, make her feel more comfortable around her own family. I swear to uphold this and stay her loving aunt forever. The dark side will never overtake me. I've visited too many times to think I want to go back. Everything else around Allana Solo may shatter, but I intend to stay. She's not going to grow up like I did, still bearing scars of my grandfather's cruelty. She will know peace and she will remember her father as the loving man who had once meant good and cared for her more than anything else in this galaxy. She has to understand just like Mom eventually did. She will understand that Jacen was once good, wonderful, sweet, and she was his world before he destroyed it.