Living In Denial boyxboy

Netflix and "Chill"

Goldylocks

I don't know why, but I invited Antonio over to my house, after school.

He agreed.

But I can't help, but feel nervous. He's probably angry at me for ignoring him, all day. It's just that, I thought he'd be disgusted.

I thought I got the porn vid and that if he found out, that I actually came after watching a GAY porn video, he'd destroy me.

We've been best friends for, like, ever. But we both hate gay people. I can't even call them fags anymore because I might just be one.

Scratch that, I am one. Anyone who comes to gay porn is gay, or at least bi. But I have to be gay, I've never really shown interest in girls or anyone. But when that little midget showed me one video of GAY porn, I got as hard as a rock. Now, every time I see Antonio, I get hard and think of that video and me and him in those positions.

I hurriedly put out snacks and set up Netflix on the 72" flat screen tv, we had just bought for the living room, just as the doorbell rung.

I slowly walked over to it and didn't realize that if been fixing my clothes until I was about reach for the knob. I dropped my hands took a deep breath and swung the door open, revealing Antonio.

He had a pack of beer in his hand and was smiling in a very appealing way. He was wearing gray jeans, black chucks, a grey t shirt, and a black leather jacket, his black curls thrown all over the place and his brown eyes assessing the way I stared at him.

"Not so bad yourself," he said barging in, sitting on the couch before propping his legs up on my coffee table.

He started scrolling through Netflix and I watched for a while before going over to sit beside him, well as far as I could get away from him, but close enough so he wouldn't question anything.

"Ant-"

"You called me here to talk about the gay thing, so I'm fine with being a fag, I only hate them for one reason, but I don't really care about it anymore. I mean like what if the entire world was gay and that was the "normal" way and then I decided that I like Tori and you Mya and everyone hated us? I've been thinking about this a lot and it's just a lifestyle or whatever, kinda like bdsm, it's just different from the "normal" stuff." Antonio said it so casually that it made my blood burn.

"How can you be okay with this!" I yelled angrily.

"Gold-"

"DONT fucking Goldylocks me, just cause you gave me a faggy name doesn't mean I'm going to accept you as a fag. I ain't no fag and all of this bs you pulling up it of your ass need slow to get out of my house before you contaminate us." I said angrily, Antonio slowly turned to me and fast like lightning my cheek burned and my head snapped to the side.

He slapped me.
He slapped me?
He slapped me!
HE SLAPPED ME!
HE FUCKING SLAPPED ME!!!!!

But before I could say anything he started talking.

"You are fucking disgusting, acting all high and mighty! You're so skinny and pale and just plain out submissive that no girl would ever want you. You haven't had a girlfriend. You look like prostitute, actually you look like a starving crack whore. You look like an all around twink and yet YOU of all people, want to judge me. I don't even look gay. Tall, muscular, Mexican, man slut, I've actually fucked girls. You couldn't even eat one out and you begged and said you didn't want anything in return. But I'm disgusting. I may have been like you once, but at least I accept myself." We were both quiet once he said all of that, I was fighting tears.

"You know what happened, you know why I'm this way and I can't help that I'm a bit disgusted cause I might be like him or every time I'm touched I cringe cause I don't want someone to do what he did again. You of all people should understand me and I'm sorry if I can't accept this, but it's going to take more than one gay porn video for me to turn out, even if I have to force myself to stay straight I will." I whispered.

For the rest of the evening we sat in silence, watching sense8 and eating snacks.

Until we heard a knock at the door