hello jeremey

chapter eight

chapter eight

Emma:

Hello Jeremey,

I know I always say your name wrong, but you never say anything about it. I like it how never say anything about it. I like it how you always smile slightly everytime I call you Jeremy.

I'm freaking out Jer. Last night I had a dream. One of those weird ones that 'mess up your whole entire existence' kind of weird ones. It felt too real, and I even started to think it happened in real life, but it didn't. I know for sure cause you would never ever wear bright pink boxers and do the things you did.

No, it was not a wet dream. Trust me, it wasn't. Trust me, I'm the Doctor. Oh Mackle-more, I'm too funny man. Okay, it wasn't a wet dream because we weren't doing the 'bad' stuff. I just happened to see your pink boxers because you bent down to pick up my hair tie. Just putting it out there.

But, oh my god, Jer, I feel like I'm going to cry. The dream fucked me up in the head so bad.

I'll just tell you what happened.

So my hair tie fell and you picked it up, thus leading to me seeing your pink boxes. Apparently, I looked too damn good with my hair down, that you started leaning in.

Just like all weird dreams, initially we were in our English class but now we're in a kitchen. Oh this sounds like a bad fanfic sexual moment. But those give me life,  so hashtag no hate.

Okay so in the kitchen... you pinned me against the counter (crossed out)...stuff happened, but nothing bad. We didn't even kiss, but you were so close to me. We probably would have kissed, you were just a breath away.

There were just all these feelings, and sparks, and electricity, and my heart was about to jump out my mouth. And there was this heat between us, it was driving me crazy. There was something else I just can't explain in words.

And the way you were looking at me, Jer.

Ugh, the way you were looking at me was breath taking. You looked at me like I was everything. You looked at me like I was precious. You looked at me like I was a hundred miles ahead of Beyoncé and we both know that's near impossible, but that's the way you looked at me. I loved the way you looked at me. Or maybe it was just you.

The way you looked at me, was the way I dreamed for a person to look at me. With so much admiration and love that I could have died happily in that moment.

I could've happily died in your arms, Jer.

Maybe it was just a stupid dream, but there were moments, moments before that, in real life, when I just couldn't help myself.

Damn it Jer, I screwed up. I screwed up bad.

Jer,

I think I like you. Like deep like like.

~ Emma.

I looked at the paper, with the words embroidered on them. I didn't like the words, I didn't like the way they were making me feel. It just made this too real.

I can't do this, not with anyone. Even if it's Jeremey.

He doesn't deserve something like this.

I scrunched up the paper and threw to the side.

I can't. 

With weak knees and blurred vision, I picked at the paper and straightened it. I stared at it, hoping the words would become false.

I gave up.

I folded the paper, and hid it at the bottom of my draw.

Wishing the truth would be buried deep at the bottom of my heart too.

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