As They Glow // Light The Stars #2

Seven- Complicated

Everything Lauren wrote down seemed to be full of sadness and anger. I wiped off tear after year as they never ending-ly streamed down my face with every page I turned.

The thing is, when someone has depression, there's really not much you can do for them as an outsider. All you can really do is listen to their cries, embrace for their sobs and be there for them. Lauren was a very closed off person and preferred to be alone. I guess this was why.

I never knew she held such resentment for her parents. They ignored her and didn't care for her. I couldn't relate because as for now, I didn't have parents to begin with, jumping around from foster home to foster home before Chuck's parent agreed to foster me until I had turned 18. I had Chuck, but as much as I loved Chuck and his parents, I knew he didn't share the same blood that flows through my veins.

To say that Lauren was a complicated person was an understatement. She was a labyrinth with twists and turns and secret passages, without shortcuts and without end. As I read her journal it was becoming clear to me how truly complicated she was, so hard to crack that she didn't even know how to figure her own self out. I didn't really feel pity nor sympathy for her, just shame that I could not do anything better to help.

It was a thick journal and I made a mental note to continue tomorrow. I needed to rest for a while. As a closed the book, Alice knocked on my door and peeked her head in. "Maya, can I talk to you for a second? I need to ask you a question."

I nodded and patted the space on my bed. She sat downs and took a deep breath. "Have you ever...with Chuck..." She stuttered, something I've never seen her do before.

"You're asking me if Chuck and I have ever had sex?" I raised an eyebrow. She nodded slowly. "No. Oh gosh, no. He's my foster brother! We dated for a week before mutually agreeing that we suck at dating each other." Then, realisation struck me. "Wait. You guys have never..." And Alice shook her head. To be completely honest, I was utterly shocked. I asked her what they've been doing in his room this whole time.

"We just talk. I mean, yeah we've made out loads but we're always just talking most of the time. He's really good at listening and talking." She blushed, "I guess that's why I love him so much. It was never about getting in my pants."

For some reason, I felt like I finally understand. Chuck was soft when he was with Alice. Like he could cradle her for the rest of his life. He never talked to me about sex advice with Alice, because it never mattered to both of them, it was about each other.

That's what love was about, accepting the inner workings and cracks and crevices of each other. I used to think that I knew what love was, because I had thought I had love in the past with Sierra. But I never felt for Sierra what Chuck and Alice felt for each other. I was left as clueless as ever. Besides, Sierra was just...complicated. It was too difficult to date her when we had to constantly sneak around.