Shadows (Depressed! Eren x Levi)

2

Trusting someone who hurt you before is a task not many can easily achieve. Especially when a person who claimed to love you but left without a second thought comes back as if nothing ever happened. They try to pick up each piece that's been broken inside of you but the saying goes 'they didn't build Rome in one day' right?

Since that day, Levi came to my room every single day and spent every minute of his free time to take care of me and get my attention away from suicidal thoughts. I focused on him so much that
I even managed to get clean again (or at least as clean as a heavily cut body can get) which he considered a huge success. I, on the other side, was still trying to get used to his face - being isolated for so long does its job. It felt as if I was looking at a stranger, a completely new person. But his voice sounded so familiar, so warm. I could melt into his sound and forget about all my problems and being forgotten by the whole world suddenly didn't matter anymore because I had him there with me.

xxxx

Levi started to sleep in my room, it became a habit now. He'd always finish his paper work, come to my room and stay there with me for the rest of the day. I didn't really like that though. Not because I hated his company, but because I felt like I was blocking him from enjoying life.

"What's up" Levi suddenly ripped me away from my thoughts. I watched as he sat on the bed next to me and began to stroke my hair. His hand moved through it so smoothly, I could almost melt into his touch; but instead I remained still. For a moment I just stared at him in silence trying to figure out how to start my sentence.

"Don't you hate being here with me?" I finally spoke watching as his smile turned into pure confusion.

"Wha- I.. I'd never-"

"I mean you sit here with me all day and night but... I feel like I'm stopping you from enjoying the world.. I feel like I imprisoned you here with me in this tiny room. Aren't I boring you?" I wouldn't be surprised if his answer was 'yes'. I mean who on earth would choose spending his whole day with an abandoned kid rather than enjoying the fresh breeze outside and the beautiful songs of the birds?

Levi was listening to me with a smirk on his face and a raised eyebrow. The kind of smile someone would make after hearing a joke they've already heard million times before.

"W-Why are you smiling?" I'd expect people to get angry at me for saying such ungrateful words so his reaction was a huge surprise to me. "It's not funny..."

"Cause you're being an idiot," was his simple answer. "What do you mean 'enjoy the world'? You are my world Eren" After hearing this my head was cuffed in his hands and before I knew our lips were joined in a gentle kiss. It wasn't a make out session, just a small, simple kiss that was soon broken, but it was enough to make me feel better. The amount of affection I got from Levi in the last couple of days was incredibly unbelievable. I still tried to understand what I did to deserve him again but the thoughts were simply streaming down me like a water off duck's back.

xxxx

However, it all changed the next couple of days later. Levi stopped coming to my room, and even when he did, it was only for a few moments before rushing away saying he had 'something important to do'. I had completely no idea what was happening. Suddenly the loving kisses were replaced with quick and meaningless smooches on my cheek, the passionate confessions of how much I meant to him didn't even exist anymore. Was it my fault? It was definitely my fault. I didn't something again and now the only one I had left was slowly drifting away from me and of course all I could do was watch in silence because what could I do? The strong, stubborn Eren which I was known for before everyone forgot was not me anymore. I had no courage to ask what I have done wrong, because what if it was something I wouldn't be able to apologise for?

Soon enough the short visits transformed into a complete lack of them. There wasn't a day where I'd beat myself for it and before I realised I started destroying my body again. The knife making even deeper wounds than before. I sat there as blood ran down my wrist, eyes fixed on a red liquid and a small amount of steam that came with it. I let out a small laugh as tears started streaming down my face staining my cheeks and clothes. The knife was moving up my arm, each time cutting deeper and with more agression towards myself. 

And when the blade reached my neck - I closed my eyes.

Goodbye.

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Thank you to everyone who read this story so much! This is the ending however there is still going to be one more chapter coming up soon just to give an aftermath as to what happened with Eren and give you Levi's reaction.

Please stay safe friends, I love all of you! <3