I am sorry I am such a burden. I am sorry I am not perfect and I don't make you proud because thats all I want and it seems like I can never fullifuly that dream. Maybe one day you wont have to worry and you can stop letting the tears fall down you cheeks that I have caused. One day you will finally be happy and I hope you get that. Just like you said everyone would be better but if I wasn't here if I wasn't born you and dad would have never broken up in the first place. I ruin everything. I broke dad. I caused him pain for so many year that I wish I could take back. I hurt everyone i love and can never do anything right. I need to talk to someone because this won't get better if it keeps going. And I am sorry that I am such an ungrateful child( I know I am) my dad gives me everything because I am a baby and I am his only daughter. I wish he had more kids of his own because I wish he got to experience the love that he should get from a child. I never want this to happen but right now I wish I was never born because everyone else would be a lot happier.
I told you how I felt and what I was going through and know everything is coming out. I never told anyone but when I was in the seventh grade I wrote a story about what life would be like without me and I wrote letter to everyone and how I will never be loved. In my life I will never fell like I am loved you can say it all you want but in my mind you don't give a shit. You don't care if I don't want to live anymore you don't care if I want to hurt my self. You will never know how I feel you will never be able to tell me how I feel and you will never help me over come this. I am not a toy you can pick off a shelf and then throw away later. Or maybe I am because that what I feel everyone is doing. When I moved In everyone was happy and then it wasn't. I was the target and everyone was taking shots at me. Even if one day I don't feel like this I will always have in the back of my mind that I am not worthy of anyones love and attention because I never got that as kid. I never felt like I had a bond with anyone that was unbreakable. Everyone that I love leaves. My own Grandma doesn't even love me. My other grandma can even look at me with out wanting her mother back. Everyone I meet either doesn't want anything to do with me or compares me to other ( me sister, my mom, my dad) Why can't anyone see that I am my own person. Why can't anyone love me for who I am and forget about my flaws. Oh wait I have to many so there is always going to be something that will make others hat me even more then they already dk. I am disrespectful so no wonder no one wants anything to do with me. I don't have a problem being by myself but I am drowning in my own thoughts and that sometime I wish they would kill me already.
