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"Phil, leave. I don't love you."

"No! You can't do that! I'm your boyfriend!"

"Well, it won't stay that way for longer. You can leave."

"What the hell do you mean?"

"Look, Phil. I'm tired of our relationship. You're a boring idiot."

"Is - is that why you cheated on me?"

"Several times? Yes."

"It wasn't that one time?!"

"Nope. I can't stand to see you around. You're just plain boring, man."

"I forgave you for that, Tiffany."

"That doesn't make you any more interesting."

"Tiffany, please, I love you."

"And I don't love you, Phil! That's it, we're done."

"Am I not good enough for you?"

"No. You're always on your laptop. You're so awkward I can't take you to parties with me. Freaking weirdo."

"Tiffany, please --"

"Leave, Philip."

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