Color Outside the Lines

Chapter 1

11/4/15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To start off good with you I will give you few of my biggest secrets. I am Ryan Kirk Fipps, and I am a transboy and pansexual. Which is crap because, I'm "too young" to know what I am feeling, and I "shouldn't come out of the closet because later on I will feel different". Oh, the things that I live through. One of my favorite things to say is, "Of course I look good in this. I didn't spend all that time in the closet for nothing". What also sucks is that I have this giant crush on this boy in my class, Eli Woods. And I don't know his sexuality so, I'm not, "risking it for the biscuit," as my friend Hunter Blazie would say.

It is weird coming out in a journal. Why I would is because my therapist said that I should write my feelings and emotions down to track my progress. Yea, it kinda sucks but it is better than my 'other solution'. In which my other solution is to cut, and that is not a good way to get frustrations out.

So, I learnt a while ago that one of my friends, Liela Black, is probably abusing me. Don't count on it, I just think that she might be because at any given time (except at lunch) she would hit me for no reason. She doesn't yell at me much. Key word, much. But what do I know. Nothing important, really. I know random facts. Does that count?

11/5/15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I just got to my new book,"The Phantom of the Opera", by Gaston Leroux. I might have read a page or two. I will keep you updated on my progress in the book.

P.S. I will be updating if anything happened or bothers me, so there will be gaps in my writing.

    11/7/15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I have hinted to some of my closest friends that I am a boy, but I have came out as pansexual. There are some in my class that are wary of me now. That cannot drag me down. I have a goal, more like a few big goals in life. Apparently, I am more a female than I credit myself to be. That is what my therapist says. Duh, I am more feminine, but that does not mean that I am a girl.

    11/10/15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    So, I have a minor crush on Liela and Hunter, but you already know that I have a fancy for Eli. I am planning to make them a letter thing, for each of them, duh. I have the letters all in different languages to see if they would want to translate it back and see what it says. In the book I am at chapter 8," The Mysterious Brougham".

11/13/15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I skipped yesterday because of today's date. That sounds a little weird. Ha, an ocean of weird is more like it. But, I did it this way so I could make a shitty joke. 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13, 15, and on are all at odds. I'm terrible at jokes.

11/14/15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    This is going to be short because I only have one thing to tell you. I am done with reading my book, and I have started a new book, "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul on Tough Stuff" by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and some others. As of now, I am planning to, on the next Thursday slipping my "love letters" in Eli, Liela, and Hunter's locker.

    11/19/15
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Today is Thursday, I can barely think, I can't feel my body. I'm hyperventilating, and can't see straight (I couldn't before, but that is besides the point [did you get the joke tho?]).