Every day I worried. I worried about the past. I worried about the future. I worried about what could happen to me. But whenever I did worry, I never thought they would come true.
As I slammed the door to my room, I could already hear my parents arguing. Tears started pouring out of my eyes. Even though I tried to stop them, they kept on coming because I was so upset. Upset at life. Upset at my parents. And most of all, upset at myself. Every single day was like this. I did something "wrong," I get yelled at, I yell back, I get punished, my parents start arguing, and I run to my room and don't come out for the rest of the night.
But tonight was somewhat different. Tonight I cried more. Why, because of what I did? No, I didn't do anything. My parents find excuses to yell at me...or even hit me. Tonight was one of the nights that I got smacked across the face. Hard. I could even feel my face throbbing. My parents didn't love me. No one did.
I went over and sat down by my opened window. It was night time, so all I could see were the stars in the sky. Before Kyle left, we would count them every night. Even though he was a good seven years older than me, we were best friends. He loved me for who I was.
Now he would be twenty-two. I haven't seen him ever since he left. Even though I hoped and prayed that he would come back, I probably will never see him again.
I made my way over to my my desk and sat down. As I was thinking about all of these things, my phone rang. I looked at the caller id, and it was Jake. He was the new neighbor across the street from us. My age, tall, brown hair, brown eyes. But I didn't feel like talking to him. I didn't feel like talking to anybody.
I opened up my closet and my eyes searched. They landed on my knife. I grabbed it and sat back down at my desk. Still crying, I opened it up. I twirrled it in my hand a couple of times, looking at it's sharp point. It wasn't a very big knife, but it was enough to do some damage. Placing the tip on where my heart was located, I closed my eyes.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
I quickly turned around and dropped the knife. It was only Jake, coming in through my window. But he had seen enough.
He ran over to me and kneeled down. I cried even more.
"Why'd you have to come in NOW?" I raised my voice at him, which made him stunned. I rambled on about how he needed to get out and let me be.
"Kara. KARA." He wrapped his big bear arms around my waist and looked at me. Even though I refused to look back at him, it made me feel weird that he was basically hugging me because I barely knew him. He continued talking.
"Why would I leave you alone? Your'e crying and you tried to hurt yourself," Jake said while picking up the knife. "Why would you even try to harm yourself?"
I worked my way out of his arms and sat on my bed. I was still crying, and my face was blood red.
"I hate my life." I said as calmly as I could. "Now let me end it."
