Words To Live By.

3

No one really understands, until it happens to them, what it's like, having to go through shock. People laugh at you, and say all sorts of stuff about it, and you spend the whole time just wanting to curl up in a ball somewhere and cry.

This happened, and at the time, I lost all sense of what was happening, I remember the main elements, but anything that was said, I have no idea what went on. I've been told what I said, and in all honesty, I don't remember the slightest thing about it. I try desperately to avoid the subject, because they always pick on the worst parts about it, the things I don't remember.

I still, now, months later, wake up at stupid o'clock in the morning, seeing the same thing going over in my mind, and knowing there is nothing I can do about it. I've tried moving away from it, but it's becoming my life, I know that whatever I do, I'll probably end up in the same place at some point, nor where it happened exactly, but still there, I'll still remember it.

I really don't know what to do, people say "Oh, don't worry, it'll pass, give it a couple of weeks." I've given it long enough. I'm stuck in a loop. Something needs to give.