One Thousand Paper Cranes

Chapter 6

Greg was in a hurry to get out of Doverhall. He ran and I could barely keep up with him. I breathed a sigh of relief when he stopped at his car, the only one in the student section of the school. Everyone either came here on a bus or their parents drove them. I was normally the former, seeing as my mother didn't really have the time or the patience to do anything for me. Greg had always told me it was easier for everyone in his house if he just drove himself and since this was his senior year the school allowed him a bit more freedom than everyone else so he could leave the campus on the weekends and go out of the city. Everyone could leave we just had to have a chaperone and we had a curfew, seniors didn't.

    Greg fumbled in his pockets for his keys I suppose, I stood watching from a safe distance away behind a bush. He looked pathetic and pity crept up my throat. What the hell was going on with him? His hair stuck up and his pale skin was flushed. I wanted to go to him, comfort him, but I knew there was nothing I could do that would help. Greg never really let anyone in.

    He dropped his keys and I think something in him might have snapped. He slammed his hands against the sides of the cars and let out a loud, frustrated groan. I could see his face crumple and contort. He was crying.

"Fuck it." I whispered and went over to him because nobody deserved to be in pain like that and have to go through it all alone. He didn't notice me until I was right next to him, grabbing his shoulder and turning him around. He tried to shake me off, but I wasn't letting go, not yet.

"What is wrong with you?" My voice rose and he looked down, shaking his head slowly. A few tears slid down the bridge of his nose and he didn't make a move to wipe them away.

"I'm a total fuck up." He whispered and I barely heard him. What was he talking about?

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking down at him, eyebrows raised.

"At least that's what my parents said." He ignored my question and kept talking. "When I told them they flipped out. 'You're going to hell, Gregory,' that's what my dad said. 'We didn't raise you like this.' That one came from my mom. I think her reaction was the worst. Not mad or sad, just disappointed. So fucking disappointed. I thought it would kill me if she started crying, or screaming. But it was the disappointment that did the trick." He let more tears roll out of his eyes and it seemed like he'd become used to them.

"What do you mean?" I asked again, softer this time. I knew what he was going to say. I just didn't want to know.

"I came back here because I thought I could just stay in the dorm and think, but then I saw Roman down on the fields, flirting with some douche and I lost it. I decided I couldn't stay here anymore, not if he was going to be here, haunting me." It was like he didn't even know I was there. He just kept talking and I kept listening. "I can't be here and I can't be there. I don't know what to fucking do anymore. I've never felt like this before. Not until Roman came around with his stupid voice and his fucking freckles and his laugh. I never asked to feel this. I like girls for fuck's sake. At least I think I do. He messes that up too. He messes everything up."

Hot fucking damn. So Greg was gay and he had a crush on Roman, or more than that it seemed. I looked down at the boy before me and my heart broke. His whole world had just changed and I didn't know if it was for the best.

I remember when I came out, even though my mother yelled and screamed, it felt like a weight had been lifted off my chest. I'd watched YouTube videos about people coming out and the feeling was mutual for them. If their parents were mad they just told them to fuck off and they moved out. That seemed like something that could happen in a movie or a book. I couldn't just move out. I was seventeen and no one wanted to room with a teen. But even though all the stories I'd heard hadn't been good, and mine wasn't either, I'd never heard or seen anyway have the outcome that Greg did.

I pulled him up from where he leaned against the car and hugged him. He shook in my arms as each sob tore through him. He cried into my shoulder and I could feel the fabric going damp, but it was fine because he deserved to let it all out.

"I don't know what to do." He whispered. "Sam, I don't know what to do."

"I didn't either at first, but you know what?" I made him look at me, not quite breaking the hug but loosening it. "I learned. I got over what my mother said to me. You will too and when the time's right you can tell Roman how you feel. I kind of think he might like you too." Greg laughed, a humorless laugh.

"There's no way he likes me as much as I like him. Whenever I see him my stomach does flips and my head goes blank. That's why I'm never around when you have him over. I don't trust myself to not tell him everything." Part of me thought this must be the alcohol talking, but the other part knew what he was saying was true. It made sense. He never quite looked at Roman whenever he left our dorm and his cheeks were always blazen whenever Roman tried to talk to him.

"He does. Trust me." I said, my voice gentle. "Just give it some thought. And go back to the dorm or go to dinner. Okay?" Greg nodded and a small smile found its way to his lips.

"Okay." He said, pushing off the car and breaking our contact. He began walking away from me and I headed back up the hill to the cafeteria. I hadn't missed dinner completely. "Oh and, Sam." Greg called to me. I turned around, facing him and giving him my full attention.

"Thanks." He said and walked back to the dorms, his shoulders not sagging so much and his head up. I smiled to myself and walked over to the cafeteria.

Roman and Eliam had waited for me and they had even made me a plate which sat next to Eliam. My face grew warm as I studied him. He'd changed into more comfortable clothes; a sweater and a pair of sweatpants that hung loose around the waist. I smiled at him as I sat down and took my plate. My stomach growled before I could even get the first bite all the way to my mouth.

"So, where were you?" Roman asked, letting his spoon float in the remains of his tomato soup. He stared at me inquisitively.

"I was talking to Greg. He couldn't find something so I was helping him." I lied, staring down at the bowl already halfway empty in front of me. I wasn't going to tell them the truth, that was Greg's job. If he wanted to come out to everyone then that was his job. It wasn't my place to tell everyone he was gay.

"Hmm..." Roman looked me up and down, eyes narrowing and I knew he didn't believe me. I tried to put on my best poker face until he stopped eyeing me.

"Anyway," Eliam interrupted. "I was thinking we could all go do something this weekend." I turned to him, raising my eyebrows.

"What did you have in mind? We can leave the campus without a chaperone so there isn't much to do." I told him, drinking up the rest of my soup. As I stood to go throw it away both Eliam and Roman stood up with me. I threw away the plastic bowl and then headed out, they followed.

"Well, nobody has to know." He wiggled his eyebrows at us as we opened the doors and stepped outside. I crossed my arms across my stomach to try and keep warm. Roman, in his short sleeved shirt with only a scarf around his neck, seemed unaffected by the cold.

"Where were even planning to go?" Roman asked, running a hand through his curls. "There isn't really any place to go."

"You seemed to have forgotten that I've lived in this area for most of my life. I know some cool places." Eliam smiled and laughed. "I can show you a few if you guys want to come this weekend." I had nothing better to do. For the first time in a long time going out seemed a lot more fun than staying in.

"How are we supposed to get out without anyone noticing?" I asked. Eliam just looked at me, a smile on his face.

"You'll see."