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" I scream but no one hears me. I beg and plead for help but no one is listening. I ask for anyone,anyone to let me out. I scratch and claw at the walls of my internal cell till my fingers raw and bloody and scraped down to nubs. My darkness has come to cover me like a blanket of all that pains me. All I want, all I've ever wanted was to love and be loved. Is it wrong of me to ask such a thing? Is that why I am condemned to suffer through my nightmare day and night never missing a day never feeling even more than a second of relief before it all comes crashing back to me? Like a bird born with a broken wing who can not fly I try and try again to spread my wings and soir like a great blackbird, but just as a leap, just as I start flapping my wings with hope in my heart to fly, just when I think this is it this is the day, gravity comes and I go plunging to the earth to meet what I can not evade. And in that moment all that is left in my heart is what once was hope turned into disappointment. In that moment I earn another scare, another hole like the thousands before it, left as always alone to put to put what is broken back together again only to find that I am missing pieces every time; I will never be whole again. I am just as lost to myself as I am with the great of the world. I am a cold hard stone. look at what I have become, what I am left with. Is all I deserve pain? How long till I am nothing? How long till even the light from the stars and moon can not find me in the dark? How long till I am the shadow so deep in the darkness luring, the sun can not reach me? I do not wish to evade death. I do not hide from my truth. I don't want to be a paper girl wearing a paper mask. All I want , all I've ever wanted was to live and be loved. But that is the one thing I cannot ask of the world to give. That is what melts my heart to stone. So I shed a tear . One single lonely tear. And that is enough to release my pain and rage. With that tear I shed all hope, all dreams, all aspirations for happiness,love and freedom. When it is all gone i am greeted by still numbness and silence. I welcome my cage with open arms and smile at my darkness like an old friend. I do deserve to be condemned to this. And in that moment part of me is set free."


-The birds prayer

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