Every morning I wake up with this feeling, this feeling that I have no idea how to explain. Not matter what happened the night before, whether I went to bed at eight at night, or three in the morning. I always get the feeling.
I push away the feeling, and I hop into the bath, I'm not really a clean freak but I take like a billion baths a day. I just like the feeling, like a warm hug. I sit while the bath fills, scroll through social media sh*t. The thing is that o do get bullied a lot, but it's not purposeful, that's just how human nature is and I don't think we'll ever stop that. People judge you by everything, your clothes, hair, makeup, ect. But I don't really care, I'll do me and you can do you.
Bullying isn't great, I've dealt with it my whole life, everybody tells me that bullying is wrong and I know that for sure, but sometimes it feels like people are telling me the truth. Maybe I am just a freak. They think the fact that I dye my hair cool colors, is weird, I call it original. They also dislike my cat tights and skater skirt/crop top outfits. It shows less skin them wearing a stupid skimpy dress, yet I get called a slut and whore 24/7. I guess I'll just deal with that too.
I put up with lots of stuff, bullying, my little brother (but I love him so much), being judged for being different, ect. But at the end I just remember I'll be okay, hopefully. All I need is to make it through the days until college and I'm fine, just got to make it to college.
I'll be free there, away from my biggest stressers. Yes, I do realize there be different stress producers at college, but at least I'll be able to have control over my life. I hate not having control because I feel babied, or whatever.
Sometimes I'm extremely awkward, I deal with lots of shit, I'm weird, different, and just overall people don't usually like me with my piercings(septum, ears with Nirvana gauges, ear cartilage, belly button and back dimples.), dyed hair (currently periwinkle ish), "Emo/grunge" whatever style. But I'm like 5'5 and very weak, what damage could I do?
Anyways, I'm Jessie.
A/N Um so this is like the intro and I suck at writing but I like it so I'm going to try my best to make this a decent book. Thank you if you read or check this out. <3
YOU ARE READING
Reality
RandomThis is my reality, friends come and go, boyfriends do to, family can be annoying and therapists never understand. Hospital visits, and bloody fights. I'm just trying to get through to college, where I'm free to be me. Whoever that is.
