Breathless •Eremika (Love. Me. Now. Or. Never.)

VII: Beast

"Mikasa! Mikasa! Rise and shine! It's our last day of camp, get your butt out of bed!" Sasha squealed, throwing herself on top of the other girl, who was unperturbed by her constant nagging. As a last ditch effort, she yanked the curtains of the dorm open, letting in a blinding stream of sunlight.

Mikasa groaned groggily, "Why so early?" She rubbed her eyes, reaching out for her phone to check the time. The screen displayed 5:59 am and 2 new messages. Her eyes widened, the drowsiness ebbing away. Did Eren text her to explain what had happened yesterday?

She thumbed the 'view message' button, and her heart sunk as she saw the name of the sender. Levi. Since when did he have her number?

His first message read: How's my bby girl.

Then the next: I'm holding a party at my place after camp ends. Wanna come along? You're invited.

Mikasa shook her head in disgust, considering the fact that he had just called her 'his bby girl'. His use of possessive language did not win her favour at all. She didn't want to directly reject his invitation, yet neither was she keen in going at all.

Sasha peeped over her shoulder, trying to get a glimpse of the message, "Is it from your cutie?"

"Who?" Mikasa inquired, hiding the messages from her sight, "Who are you referring to as cute?"

"Eren," she grinned knowingly, "Is it from Eren?"

"No," Mikasa scowled, "Let's get breakfast, I'm starving." The truth was that she was not starving, but if she went to breakfast in the cafeteria, she would be able to see Eren.

"I've never heard you say that," Sasha raised an inquisitive eyebrow, "But anyway, I heard they're serving up mashed potatoes for breakfast today. Let's hurry before it runs out."

**********

"You've been staring at that bread roll for over ten minutes," Armin remarked to Eren. They were sitting around the table at the corner of the cafeteria with Jean and Connie, away from the hustle and the bustle of the people queueing for breakfast.

"Yeah, seriously, Yeager, I'm hungry as," Jean indicated to his growling stomach, "I'll have your serve if you don't want it."

"You can have it." Eren's face was placid, colourless, with bags sagging under his worn-out eyes. He had his hands folded in his lap, clutching a cup of water in a Styrofoam cup.

Jean unashamedly crammed the bread roll into his mouth, giving a satisfying burp, "thanks."

"Hey, look, Eren, it's her," Armin jerked his chin towards the door. Mikasa was shuffling into the cafeteria, joining the end of the breakfast queue. Her eyes swept the area, as if in search for someone.

Eren lowered his head hoping that she would not spot him. He waited for something to divert her attention.

"Eren." Mikasa broke away from the queue as soon as she saw him and jogged towards the boys' table, "Eren, can I talk to you, please?" She ignored the rest of his group, her gaze fixated on him and only him.

"No." Eren couldn't bring himself to haul his eyes up to face her. Armin, Jean and Connie were all muted by his curt yet harsh response.

"What?" Mikasa stumbled backwards, as if his word was a blow to the chest, "Hm?"

"No. I said no," his voice shook, "Go away, Mikasa, I don't want to see you."

The girl stayed rooted to the ground, unable to move due to shock.

"I said back off," Eren, seeing that she would not walk away, took the act to a whole new level, "You should've seen yourself, Ackerman. You literally pounced on me yesterday like an aroused feral beast when we were at my room. I'm glad I pushed you away before any shit happened. Go find someone else to attack, Mikasa. Go find Levi if you're really that desperate-"

"What the crap, Eren? How could you say that?" Armin erupted, making Eren jolt to a stop, "You're going way too far, man. Way, way too far." Mikasa had concealed her face behind her veil of onyx hair hence no one would be able to see the tears coursing down her cheeks. She couldn't find an initiative to speak to anyone anymore.

"An aroused feral beast," Armin repeated, "Do you even know how hurtful that is for a girl?"

"I can't-" Eren began.

"Don't even start to apologize," his friend gritted his teeth.

"I wasn't about to apologize. I was about to finish my sentence since you cut me off-"

"You know what," Mikasa's annihilated voice put a stop to the directionless bicker, "You're right, Eren. I've never heard you say something like that in so many years and I don't know what's wrong with you. But whatever it is that's making you do this, I don't care. Don't come back to me crying when you realized what kind of mistake you've made. Goodbye, Eren."

He seemed taken aback by her response. He didn't have the right to be hurt, she thought. And by that, she stormed off, the heels of her boots hitting the ground like bullets.

Many people around them in the cafeteria stared, but did not utter a sound. On any other days, she would've been completely embarrassed to be placed in a situation where everyone was gaping at her in astonishment. But today, she decided to not give a single crap.

She fished out her phone recklessly as she forced her way out of the cafeteria, the wrath and rage frothing and thrumming inside her, overwhelming her mind. Why would Eren hurt her like this? Eren loathed Levi. This gave her the perfect excuse to reply to Levi's text.

Her message was succinct and simple, but it signified the start of her hatred towards Eren: Sure, time and date?

**********

"What the actual hell, Yeager?" Jean had bounded to his feet, leaning into Eren over the table, "How the hell could you say that to Mikasa? How could you do that to someone who loves you that much? It's obvious you two have a thing. There's no excuse for anything you just did, Yeager. Nothing can justify it."

Eren's throat undulated as he gulped hard, staring down at his plate of food in remorse. Jean nodded to Connie and they marched off in unison, not even taking a glance back at either of their two friends.

"Hey, you really shouldn't have done that. You hurt her too much," Armin shook his head, "I know why you did that but what you said was not necessary. You've achieved your goal, Eren. She won't really miss you when you're gone. But is that really what you want? Is it really?"

"No," Eren whimpered, hugging himself, "I don't want any of this. I thought making her hate me would make me feel better, so I could leave this world without a single shred of guilt, but no. This makes me feel terrible. Really terrible."

Armin remained silent for a moment, pondering on what he should say. "I think, I think you should tell Mikasa about your condition. We're like family. We do everything together. We encounter difficulties together. And if death wields his sword at us, we will fight it together."

"No, Armin, Mikasa will never forgive me," Eren whispered, "I screw everything up, Armin." Well done, Eren Yeager, you've ruined everything, he thought to himself, why is my life like this?

"She most likely will forgive you. You don't know her love for you," his friend encouraged.

"Right now, I'm dying on the inside," he muttered, "Sometimes, Armin, sometimes, I think that dying is simpler than living."