Breathless •Eremika (Love. Me. Now. Or. Never.)

IX: Don't Hug Me.

"Apply CPR!" Armin repeated, his voice cracking like static radio.

"How? I don't know how to do this," the edge of desperation was acute in Connie's voice, "What, like chest pumps? How the hell do you do that? I'm not trained-"

Mikasa dropped to her knees beside Eren's body, placing the heel of her hand on his chest, "I know this, give me more space, Armin." Her hands were slipping from his slightly-bloated torso as she pumped, whimpering and heaving.

"Come on, Eren, please. Show me a sign," Mikasa wheezed, "Show me a sign that you're still alive, show me a sign." She was thumping his ribcage so hard she thought she would bruise it or even fracture a bone.

Armin teeth were audibly chattering in panic and Connie's facial features were contorted in terror. "Eren," a tear formed at the corner of Mikasa's eye and tumbled down, splashing on the clumpy brown sand beneath her knees. The chest-pumps were to no avail and all her attempts to revive Eren proved to be futile.

She lifted her worn-out hands from his chest and straightened her back, "Eren, don't you dare die on me." She leaned forwards and pinched his nose, tilting his head back roughly and lifting his chin with her other hand.

"Don't just sit there, pump it for me, Connie!" Mikasa yelped before she locked lips with Eren, giving him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He. Was. So. Cold.

His mouth was stiffer than usual and his core temperature was dropping exponentially. She could see his chest rise as she forced air into his lungs. She gripped his rigid arm with her free hand, her unyielding care for him evident in her petrified eyes. She could feel his faint pulse thrumming in the veins under his biceps.

Connie was pressing his fist against Eren's abdomen, "Those friggin' teachers and paramedics are taking so damn long to come, what the hell?"

Eren's purpling finger twitched.

His hand shot out abruptly and found Mikasa's wrist, wrapping itself around it. Reflexively, the girl instantly yanked herself off Eren, short on breath, her gray orbs widening at the sight of him regaining consciousness.

"Mikasa?" he spluttered frailly, trying to reach for her wrist again, which she had savagely torn from his grip when she broke away from him. His enervated eyes were opened to slits and blood-tainted water was streaming from the corner of his mouth to his ear as he choked and gurgled.

No matter how much Mikasa tried to command her arms to move to take Eren into a passionate embrace to comfort him, her limbs would not follow her orders. Eren, you're back, she thought to herself.

Eren's face was strained as he mustered his remaining energy to prop himself up with his elbows and roll over onto his stomach. He clawed at the sand below for Mikasa. She didn't- couldn't- respond. Her muscles had tensed, reluctant to move. She could still taste the saline river-water from Eren's mouth that got transferred to hers during mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

"Oh, hey look, the boy isn't dead," came a voice from quite some distance away. A cluster of teachers and nurses were headed their way, pointing at the group of friends and murmuring inaudible things to each other.

"He would've been dead if it weren't for Mikasa! Why were you guys so late? Why?" Armin exclaimed, his eyes red and puffy.

"Come on, son, we're leaving," a teacher said  gruffly and swooped down, picking up Eren with ease, draping his limp body over one of his beefy shoulders.

"No," Eren managed to croak out in protest, trying to wrench out of the man's iron-grip, "No, Mikasa, I want to... I want to..." His arm was outstretched, a drool of blood-saliva falling from his mouth as he tried to speak articulately.

Mikasa was still on the ground, gob-smacked, her gaze fixated on Eren. Connie and Armin had got up on their feet to assist the teachers in carrying him back to the infirmary.

"Mikasa," he whispered before his hefty eyelids fell, succumbing to fatigue.

                   **********

"Eren? Are you waking up?" Mikasa was leaning over him, her hair tickling his arm. His eyes flew open and he drew in an acute breath. She reeled back as he sat upright trying to catch his breath. His face was pasty, all the healthy colors drained from his sagging cheeks. With his unkempt chocolate-brown hair and bloodshot eyes, anyone who walked into the infirmary unit at that moment would've thought that he had just woken up from an intense nightmare.

They were alone in the constricted room and thin rays of sunlight had made their way through the filth-coated windows, partially bathing the infirmary with light.

"You okay? You're breathing really hard," Mikasa placed a hand on his shoulder to reassure him.

He panted, his face slick with sweat, "Mikasa?" He flung his arms around her, burying his face into the crook of her neck, "I was thinking of you."

"Eren, don't hug me," Mikasa peeled him away from her and a look of hurt and bewilderment crossed his face, "It's not like nothing happened at the cafeteria. Remember what you called me?  So don't hug me. I don't want you saying that I pounced on you again later during the day, like an 'aroused feral beast'. So, please, don't lay a single finger on me."

She spat those words out and his teal-green eyes widened a fraction, "You're s-still on about that?"

She couldn't see why he would think that she had so easily forgotten about it. But before she had pulled away from him, she felt the suffocating heat radiate from his body when he hugged her. "Eren, wait," she rested her hand on his forehead, scrutinizing his face, "Why are you so hot?" It was peculiar for him to be so overheated.

"W-what?"

"No, Eren, seriously," she shook her head, knowing that he had misinterpreted her statement, "you're boiling."

"It's nothing," he breathed out in a rush, "really, it's nothing."

Mikasa paused, "How did you fall into the waters anyway? The safety instructions for kayaking were given pretty clearly. Safety belts on at all times. Don't tilt the kayak."

"I didn't fall," Eren faltered, rephrasing what he was about to say in his mind carefully, "I was never on a kayak. I waded into the water voluntarily."

"And why would you do that?" she drew out the words skeptically, slightly apprehended.

"I think that," he pursed his lips, assessing whether he should continue or not, "I think that that drowning sensation kind of relieves me of my worries and problems. The drowning sensation takes me to a faraway place where no one will ever reach me."

Mikasa gasped, slipped her porcelain hand under Eren's. She had broken the touch barrier. He let her take his hand, lifting his sullen gaze to meet hers. Her hand relatively lacked the heat Eren had, yet it was a consoling touch, something that calmed Eren's raging fever.

The invisible bond between them was beginning to re-forge. They remained silent for several moments.

"I want to ask you something," Mikasa whispered in monotone, lowering her head.

"Ask away," he forced a weary smile.

"Were you trying to do something silly...like hurt or kill yourself? Why though?"

Eren bit his lower lip, uncertain of how he should respond. He should tell her. He would tell her that he was ill. He could tell her about his condition now. This was the perfect time.

"Mikasa, I-" he started.

The door of the infirmary unlatched with a click. Mikasa withdrew her hand instinctively as a figure made its way in.

"Eren, Mikasa, we're boarding the bus now," Armin had entered, flicking his gaze to and fro between his two friends, his azure eyes drooping in exhaustion, "We're going home, guys, we're going back home."