Back With A Secret

One| Goodbye Charlie

"Mum! I can't stand the thought of being in that high school any longer. The exclusion and the secrets are wearing me down. Dana and Marli, my own best friends don't even want me around anymore. It's like I'm invisible but worse" I sputtered out, the crying making the words come out raspy. 

"Can you please just let me accept the offer from the boarding school in London? Pl-please?" I said trying to swallow down a sob. I could feel my walls tearing down. My hands fisted in my jacket pockets in an attempt to slow down my tears. 

I could see it in her eyes even without the need for her to voice out her thoughts. The sadness pooling in her eyes at the thought of her only daughter moving to the other side of the world was daunting, "Honey, are you absolutely sure you want to go? I mean you and your brother have never been this far apart. Do you really want to leave him behind?" she whispered, holding tightly onto my arms in desperation. 

Taking a moment of silence to picture my life now, with all the constant lies and secrets, it was pointless. My mind was set on leaving. The bullying and disgust on me was just the icing on the cake to actually push this forward. No one here beside my parents would miss me. 

Forcing this decision on my parents was selfish of me, but if they ever wanted their normal go-happy child from years ago they had to let me leave. This school was my only option to escape it all, the teasing, the deception and everything dark.

"Mum, listen. Even Jake doesn't want to be seen with me in public because of how I look" I told her, but no matter how many times I tried to tell her this she refused to listen, ignoring the obvious truth. It was ironic to be the worst half of identical twins. We looked the same in some sort of sense. He gained the athletic and appealing genes of the family, gaining him instant popularity credit. While I on the other hand gained weight, paled and was repeatedly told that I resembled a toad. 

But of course, my mother didn't listen. Her eyes hardening as she was adamant that what she said was correct. "Honey don't say that, of course that is not true" she coaxed, trying to sooth my discomfort by rubbing my back. Though failing miserably. I rubbed my forehead in frustration, getting no where with her. 

"He said it to my face today again, though this time in front of the whole school. It was like he officially signed us off as siblings. Mum please, Just let me go" I pleaded, barely managing to let the words come out of my mouth towards the end. 

She sighed finally giving in. Her eyes showing how much pain this was going to cause her. She slowly got off my bed and left my room in silence, letting me finish packing.

~~~~~~

After a few hours of non-stop packing, I was exhausted and finished. My clothes, books, pictures, practically everything was jammed into my luggage bags, everything but my furniture. Those sadly had to stay here. 

"Mum I'm ready to go" I told her softly once I grabbed my bags and brought them down to the front door, tugging on my black cardigan.

I gently tapped on her closed door, "Mum I'm ready to go." To signal our soon departure. I struggled to pull my bags down the stairs, barely managing but succeeding. 

"Okay honey- just let me get my purse then we can go!" she shouted from upstairs, the pause sounding like she was sniffling. 

I just sighed and sat on the couch in the living room, trying not to dwell on the fact that this would be the last moment in this house before a long time.

A second later Jake my twin, my other half, the one who was meant to stand up and look out for me, but failed, came into the room. His facial expression displaying his bored nature.