Ps. I still love you

Katrina

Everyday I'm away from Alex it gets a little bit worse. But Skyping him every night helps me get through missing him so much. My favorite part of when we talk is at the very end. When he puts his hand up onto the laptop and tells me the exact day, hour, minute, and second until we will see each other next. I have to call him exactly at 3:30. Because he lives in Paris it's a seven hour difference.

It's the one thing I look forward to after school. But usually once a night I have a dream about Alex. We are happily married when little French babies!! It's so adorable. I hate when the dreams over though. When I wake up and realize he's not by my side anymore. He's not my husband. He's just not here.

I think about him day and night. I think and daydream about who we could be. It's just its so much harder because while I'm laying awake at 2 am thinking about him, he's sleeping like a baby. Alex, he's told me things that he's never told anyone else. He tells me about his past, his present, and him dreaming about his future. I love that when he talks about his future he always has to add in, "our" future. Like we are going to be together. Forever.

I couldn't explain how I feel about Alex. I'm only 14. I don't know what love is. But I definitely know this is way more than just a middle school crush.