How did i get here ... Im so confused yo . How the fuck did i get here ... Where did i go wrong ? Like how didnt i see this shit comin ... I think for the very first time in my life i was in control of somethin and didnt control it . Im tired of talkin im tired of cryin im tired of yellin im tired of people talkin to me any kind of way im sick of doin everything i can for people and bein taken advantage of im so tired im so sick and tired i really shouldnt have any tears left , why am i still cryin how can i still be crying right now ? Please tell me how its possible how can there be so many tears in someone so small ? Maybe its my turn to yell or maybe its turn to walk away from everybody and turn my back on somebody i know needs me the most . I swear i did everything i could for him i swear no matter what he did to me i never turned my back on him and only Lord knows how much i wanted too i wanted to away so many times nobody knows what i went thru nobody knows how i feel i swear everything he said to me had to be a lie it couldnt have been you dont act this way you really care and love somebody how can u stop lovig somebody ? I dont understand how can you stop loving someone ? Someone who was there thru everything who never switched up someone who give there life just to save yours someone who gave you everything i need to know how that happens no matter what if you love somebody you love them how can you abuse somebody mentally and emotionally and be okay with i swear i my heart so heavy right now i tried to stop crying and only more tears fall. I really don't understand how TF you gonna treat me like that outta all people like I didn't have your back from day one like I didn't stay up on the phone watching you cry because you had so much going on! Like I wasn't there for you when your best friend died! How can you really turn your back on me when I've never turned my back on you! NO MATTER HOW MANY NIGHTS WE ARGUED OR NO MATTER HOW MANY TEARS I SHED WANTING SHIT TO GET BETTER! No matter how many times you act like you just didn't care I stuck around fighting for us ! How can you sit there and downplay me or us to the next mf ! How can you sit there and say you never loved me after everything! Ive never did dirt on you since day one yet you allowed another bitch to change you! Or make you act different towards me ! Towards me though, like really Josh? after everything that's so whack and you can sit up here and say you don't care but feelings don't go away over night! And if you been stopped loving me why didn't you been say so instead of always telling me you loved me like shit was still peaches and creams ! You strung me along and all along you knew deep down shit just wasn't there or at least that's how you acting ! At the end of the day. I have to deal with this hurt, I have to keep myself from crying. I have had to hold it together even when what I wanted the most to do was fall apart. You took something I can't get back. You fucked me up. I still can't see myself without you but I have to be without you simply because you don't give a fuck nomore. I did everything to keep you. You changed me, you fucking broke me... But see one day .. One day I'm gonna be alright, I'm gonna cross your mind one day and your gonna just think to yourself " that girl loved me so much" but it's going to be too late, we couldn't work out and it's not my fault. I did my part and even though it hurts ... And god it's freaking killing me.. I got to be without you, I got to move on because you aren't the nigga I fell in love with anymore, after everything, the deep conversations, me looking into your eyes drowning in tears, trying to get through to you, you say you love me and ale promises that you continue to break. The sleepless nights, me blowing up your phone because I need you, need you to understand, need you to feel remorse need you love me fr and fight for what you was slowly but surely losing, blowing up your phone because I need you, need you to fix this, you hold me and tell me you love me and shits going to get better but nothing changes, you want patience and chances I give you just that patience and chances . I've been by your side, rolling and rocking. Down for whatever. Holding you down, hoping and praying you'd get better, you would get shit together and we would make it work.. I'll never ever understand why me outta all people .. Why you did it to me.. We dragged this out, fighting and trying, arguing and making up but now there's nothing left to do but let this shit be over, after everything, the deep conversations, me looking into your eyes drowning in tears, trying to get through to you, you say you love me and ale promises that you continue to break. The sleepless nights, me blowing up your phone because I need you, need you to understand, need you to feel remorse need you love me fr and fight for what you was slowly but surely losing, blowing up your phone because I need you, need you to fix this, you hold me and tell me you love me and shits going to get better but nothing changes, you want patience and chances I give you just that patience and chances . I've been by your side, rolling and rocking. Down for whatever. Holding you down, hoping and praying you'd get better, you would get shit together and we would make it work.. I'll never ever understand why me outta all people .. Why you did it to me.. We dragged this out, fighting and trying, arguing and making up but now there's nothing left to do but let this shit be over
