Aborted

Two

"Well what did she look like?"

"She was beautiful."

"Did you notice anything unusual about her?"

"She has a birthmark on her cheek." I say rubbing my left cheek.

"Well every detail helps." He says offering me a small smile and I weakly smile back.

"Well it's getting late I have to go home or my mom will get worried." He says standing up. "Sophia, c'mon." He says gesturing for his little sister to come over. "I'll see you here tomorrow, right?" He asks, looking back at me. I smile and nod. He grabs his little sister's hand and begins to walk away, but I hear his little sister ask, "Bubba, who was that girl?" He stops dead in his tracks and looks at her. My jaw falls slightly and I stare wide-eyed at the girl. "What girl?" Ben says emphasizing every word. "The one you was talking to on the bench." She says, turning and pointing at me. I stare into her eyes and she looks in mine then diverts her attention back to her brother. "Her?" Ben asks pointing at me. "Yeah." She says as if it is the most natural thing in the world. "It's just a girl." He says. His sister starts to walk to the vehicle and he turns giving me this weird look and I just stand there in shock.

That night I sat on the bench, replaying the memory of my death, over and over again. I studied every feature of my mother's, from her dirty blonde hair, green eyes like mine, and that small birthmark on her right cheek. As I am in the memory once more, just admiring my mother's delicate features, I hear a voice in the distant that sounds awfully familiar. "No name!" I exit the memory and open my eyes to see my guardian angel stand, more like fly, in front of me. I have not seen her in sixteen years yet she still looks exactly the same, with the same red hair, green eyes, brown freckles, and white wings. "What are you doing here," I ask her ", and where have you been for sixteen years?" She sighs, "That's not important right now." She gets closer. "Look, you've been here for sixteen years, we usually only allow our spirits ten years of finding themselves, but we have made many adjustments for you. The council and I has decided to give you until the eighteenth anniversary of your death left as a roamer." She says, staring intensely into my eyes, "You have been here too long." She states. "What if I don't find myself on the eighteenth anniversary and what do you mean I've been here too long?" I ask wanting questions desperately.

"If by your eighteenth anniversary of the abortion you fail to find yourself, you will become nothing. Your spirit will be deleted, which means it would be as though you have never existed and will never exist again. You have a lot left to do." My guardian angel warns. "But, I can communicate with the living now, that must mean something." I say, hopeful. "It means something, but nothing good. Listen to me sweetheart, you are dead. There are things you do not understand and will never understand, we need you off of this Earth as soon as we can. You never had the opportunity to experience life and I understand you want nothing more, but life is not what you expect. There is evil in life, temptations, feelings, and things you are lucky to have not gone through. Yes, you have feelings but the emotion you feel with life is a different kind. I've experienced life and it is not what you are hoping for, sweetie, trust me." She says. I look down and bite my lower lip.

"Is there anyway I can just experience it, just for a day. Please. I just need to know, I need to know what it is like to breathe, to feel, to be noticed. I think it could help me find myself. Please." I beg with pleading eyes. "I'm sorry, I can't permit that." She says then starts to fade away. "Wait, don't go. Come back. Please." I say but she is already gone. I start to cry with my hands over my eyes. I hate being dead. I hate it so much. Why did I have to be aborted? Why didn't my mom love me? "What's wrong?" I hear a squeaky voice say. I look up and find the little girl from yesterday standing in front of me. "Nothing." I say trying to force a smile. "Why are you crying?" She asks, sitting on the bench next to me. I don't answer her. "Well mommy says that big girls don't cry." She says. I smile at her. She attempts to wipe my tear but her hand passes through my face.

She stares at me in shock for a minute then she leans in and whispers, "Your secret is safe with me." Confused, I ask, "Which secret?" She gives me an 'are you serious' look and says, "Your super power." I chuckle, and mumble a thank you. There is a comforting silence for a moment until she breaks the silence, "When you and bubby disappeared yesterday, where did y'all go?" She questions with curiosity sparkling in her sterling blue eyes, just like her brothers. "Well, we," I start but am cut off by Ben. "Hey guys, so I have a picnic planned for today in my secret spot." He smiles at me then turns toward his sister. "And you little miss Sophia, were you bothering her?" He questions the small girl. She giggles as he attacks her with tickles and I can't help but smile at the small gesture. "What's your name?" She looks up and asks me. "Umm," I glance toward Ben with pleading eyes. He shrugs his shoulders, unsure himself of what I should tell this six year old girl with curiosity in her sea green eyes.

"I don't have a name." I say. She looks at me for a moment then pushes her dirty blonde hair out of her face asking, "Didn't your mommy and daddy give you a name?" I look at her and decided to just reply simply, "No." I then grab the picnic basket from Ben and began to walk towards the woods that Ben pointed to. Sophia runs to catch up with me. "But that's no fair every mommy gives their baby a name." She says clearly confused. "My mommy just didn't." I say trying to end the conversation. "Well if I was your mommy, I would name you angel." She says in a matter-of-fact tone. "Why's that?" I ask her, setting the picnic basket in the middle of a clearing in the woods. "Because Bubby told me that you was an angel and only me and him can

see you, that's your super power." She says in a duh tone. "Can I call you that? Angel?" She asks me with pleading eyes.

"Angel, I like it." I say smiling. Bentley soon comes in the landing, carrying a blanket. "Okay, I have everything we need for the perfect picnic." He says looking at us proudly. He sets out the blanket and places the basket on top. Ben looks at me for a moment then says, "What's wrong, I thought you would like the picnic." He says, confused. I force a smile, glad that someone is showing care for me. "Nothing it's just that, I don't have long." I say looking down. My blonde hair gets in my face and I brush it behind my ear. "What do you mean?" He questions. "My guardian angel came to me yesterday," I say breathing in a gulp of air.

"Well that's a good thing, right?"

"I wish," I half laugh, "she says if I don't find myself soon.."

"What is it Angel?"

"She says," I feel myself start to panic.

"Angel," Ben says, impatiently.

"She. Well, I." I feel pressure in my chest.

My head begins to spin, I feel my head hurt, straining to sort out words, attempting to regain itself. Tears emerge from my eyes. I am having trouble seeing straight and clear. I stand but can't hold myself so I sit back down.

" Angel, are you okay?" Ben asks worriedly.

"Bubby, what's wrong with her?" I hear Sophia ask.

"I don't know Soph." He says.

I feel the calmness I've grown to know makes it way back to my body and mind. I gain a peace at mind that I am accustom to. My vision is clear and my head stops spinning. I have never experienced something so traumatic. "O' my, I have no idea what got into me." I say, completely astonished. "I think you had a panic attack." Ben states. "Mommy gets those." Sophia chirps in. "A lot of people do." Ben adds. "Spirits are not suppose to." I say. "Maybe it was just a one time thing." Ben says, shrugging. "Anyway, she said If I do not find myself by the eighteenth anniversary of the abortion, I will be completely erased, as if I never existed. " I say, finally finding my words.

"Cancel that picnic, we need to search." Ben says. "Search for what?" Sophia asks. "For me" I say to her.