The Collectors

Numb

Around two o'clock in the afternoon Kane arrived. He dropped off our money for rent, and he had taken it upon himself to buy the groceries. We riffled through the paper bags. Although all of us were old in spirit we still had the metabolism of young adults. We were always hungry. Birdy had ripped off a chunk of French bread and was smothering it in butter before any of us had had a chance to even register what we had. I was grateful for the food but when Kane went out of his way for us it was because he had news.

"So, what's the deal?" Luke asked as he stuffed a handful of Ritz crackers into his mouth. "No news. Just thought I could do something nice." Kane said. He was ancient I had no idea how old he actually was although he didn't look any older than thirty. He had been one of the first AOD's. Kane was tall and slim with semi circle glasses that were perched at the tip of his pointed nose. He dressed in khaki pants with a button up shirt tucked into the waistband. A tie hung low from his neck as if he hadn't tied it correctly. He had thick brown hair but small thin lines of grey were peppered throughout.

He handed me a sugar cookie, my favorite. "May I see you in the hall, Poppy?" he asked quietly. I nodded and left the kitchen. He followed soon after. He shut the door and we stood in the in the cold hallway. "Something has come up." he said. Kane was choosing his words carefully. "What?" I asked not really in the mood to dance around the subject. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "It's your sister," he said slowly. "She's dead."

"Excuse me?"

"Your sister Rosey. She died last night." he stated. His voice was level as if we were discussing the weather. "Oh." was all I could say. I never really thought about my family anymore, when I died it was like they died too. I became another person when I joined the ranks of the angels. "Do you need a moment?" h asked softly showing emotion for the first time. "No, I think...I think I'll be alright." I said. Everything was still, so still and quiet I felt like my ears would explode from the unbearable silence.

"I just," I started walking towards the stairs. My feet were moving but I wasn't consciously aware of what was happening. I just kept walking.

What was wrong with me? Why didn't I care? She was my sister, my baby sister and she was dead. I didn't feel anything I was just numb. I was gulping in the cold air like a fish on the dock. I found myself in one of the parks that were falling into disarray. I lowered myself into the only swing without a broken chain and cried. I wasn't crying for Rosey I was crying for me. Why hadn't I fallen to the ground, a sobbing mess when Kane told me? Why hadn't I screamed?

There was the sound of feathers ruffling and I turned to see Birdy standing in front of me. She drapped my coat around my shoulders. Birdie was quiet, reserved and breathtakingly beautiful. Her black hair fell in long straight lines that framed her heart shaped face. Her eyes were a brilliant green shaded by thick black lashes. She looked at me her plump lips twisted up in concern.

She took my face in between her warm hands and shook her head. "Why are you crying?" she asked softly. "Rosey, she's dead." I stuttered the words through choking sobs. "Well, I'm sorry but everybody you knew is going to die or is dead. It's the way the world works. We're immortal were going to keep on living till the end of time."

"I'm not crying about that." I said slipping my thin jacket over my shoulders. "I'm crying because, God I don't even want to say it outloud. I don't care. My life was over the day I died, I lost everything. Now it's just final." I began to sob again. "I'm a monster." I whispered. She wrapped her arms around me as I cried into her chest. "No, honey, no." she placed a kiss on the top of my head. "No."

We stayed in that park for hours not saying very much at all. She told me how she felt when she found out her mother died, how she had wanted to cry but no tears would come. She said we weren't monsters, but I wasn't sure if I believed her. All those nights I had woken to my own screams and cries, I had comforted myself with the thought that those tears were for Rosey. But that whole time they had been for me.