home // jerrie thirlwards

chapter 1

" so long i've been waiting to let go of myself and feel alive "

jade had prayed to the gods that their reaction wouldn't be like this. she prayed that for once in her life she could have parents that supported something that she told them. this was a very important part of her life and she finally had worked up the courage to come out and say it, and she had prayed for the reaction to be different.

but, things don't always work out the way you want it to.

her parents' reaction to what she had confessed was worse than she imagined. things were thrown, insults were tossed at jade left and right from both her parents, calling her a sinner, a freak, a monster, a bitch, a whore, you name it. jade had finally worked up the courage to reveal this big part of her life that she's been hiding for years and this is what she gets?

jade had finally revealed to her parents that she was in fact a lesbian. the conversation started off simple and casual. her parents were in a good mood beforehand, so she expected a little nicer reaction, but she was wrong.

you see, jade's parents have openly stated before hand how they think other sexualities besides straight are wrong and horrible. they have said they don't truly exists and that love should only be between a man and woman. well, that's not how jade felt.

jade was young when she started taking an interest in other girls. her friends talked about cute guys in their class, meanwhile she sat back and just listened, not saying a word. every night she would think about some of the girls in her grade that she thought were very pretty. she once started to panic though.

she was always taught that you should be attracted to those of the opposite gender, and she was scared because she had no interest in any boys her age. she was only interested of the girls.

after a bit of a freak out, jade decided that it would be fine and that she'd eventually start liking boys, which never happened, but, her reaction to not growing out of the phase was more than okay.

she was happy with the fact that she found girls to be more attractive than guys, it just made it better for her. it was the gender she was interested in.

now, it had finally come the time to tell her parents about her feelings for girls.

"hey mom, dad, I have something I want to tell you, since we're on the topic of dating and all," jade had stated in the middle of their conversation about dating people and how jade's mom and dad first met.

"yes jade?" jade's mom had asked.

jade sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. this was it, it was time to come and out and say the truth. she was finally going to come out to her parents.

jade exhaled and opened her eyes and saw that both of her parents' eyes were on her, waiting for her to go on with what she has to say.

"well, I'm, a, I'm.." jade stopped, trying to find the right way to state it to not make her parents as upset. "well uh, you know how I'm friends with perrie?"

"yes what about perrie?" jade's father had asked, looking at her with a confused expression.

jade bit her lip, thinking of how she was gonna say this. she just wanted to come forward and say it, scream it out that she was only interested in girls. it's been trapped inside her for so long that she needed to get it out already and tell her parents the truth. oh well, fuck it.

"well, perrie and I are, um, we're more than friends. we are, we are.. w-we are d-dating each other.., I'm.. I'm lesbian.." jade managed to get out, seeming to run out of breath.

jade, not noticing that she looked down when she confessed her secret, looked up to see her parents reactions. oh no.

the look on their faces were not good. a death stare was shot at jade from both her mom and her dad. they both seemed to be comprehending what their daughter just said.

"what.. the.. fuck.. jade.." jade's mom was the first to speak up after the silence.

"jade, honey, I think you're just confused, I'm sure this is just a phase you're going through sweetie, it'll be over soon it's okay," jade's dad reassured as he grabbed jade's hand, trying his best to release the glare from his face and give jade a soft, gentle expression. he was so sure it was just a phase.

jade's mom's face lit up at the idea and nodded, agreeing with what her father had to say.

"no dad.. you don't understand, perrie and I have been dating for almost a year now, and I've known years prior to now that I've liked girls, I've just never had the courage to tell you guys.." jade said, quieting her voice at the end.

jade's parents sat there for a moment, comprehending yet again what their daughter had just said. suddenly, jade's father's hand was away from jade, a sound of disgust leaving her father's mouth.

"are you guys okay?" jade asked, her voice just above a whisper. she already knew the answer.

"okay? okay?! how could I be okay when my daughter has just told me she's, she's, she's a lesbian! what the fuck!" jade's mom screamed, standing up from where she was sitting now. "I can't even look at you right now! the fact that you are even dating that girl perrie makes me want to throw up! does her parents know about this disgrace?!"

"yes.. her parents support her and I.." jade answered, her voice quiet.

"oh of course, I've never liked her parents, they gave me that vibe of sinners, they're all going to hell!"

"it's not natural jade! it's disgusting! you should be ashamed! it's bad enough that you dated someone behind our backs, but even worse that it's with a girl!"

"you guys don't understand! I love her, she's cares about me and I care about her, a lot!" jade tried to scream but failed, the tears forming caused her voice to break.

"IT IS WRONG! YOU ARE A SINNER, A DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY!" jade's mother's voice boomed throughout the house, causing jade the jump back in fear. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU DIRTY SLUT!"

"why?! I feel what I feel, why can't you except it?!" jade screamed back.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU MONSTER!" jade's dad roared while jade's mom began to throw picture frames of their whole family on the floor, the glass of the frames shattering.

jade wasn't going to try it anymore, she gathered her bag along with her phone that were place on the table near the door, and ran out of the house. as she ran, she heard words being shouted at her by her parents who had ran out of the porch to torment her some more. jade had wasted no time running away from that place, getting away from her parent's emotional abuse.

after waiting so long to tell her parents her secret and praying to be accepted by them, she got this. this was the reaction she was praying they weren't going to have.

she had decided to go to the one place she called her actual home. no, not the place where her parents have raised her, no. she was going to her true home, to perrie. her home.