Death and Stars

Chapter Three

It was now Saturday, and we had stuck to Chris’ plan and checked into a motel on a main road. I recognised the road; then again it did look like every other main road I had ever travelled by. It ran parallel to the forest for miles housing motels and gas stations. Down the road from our motel stood a small pub pulsating with live music and stench of regurgitated beer, and we had decided to go for the evening.

I stood in the mist of our room’s bathroom carefully applying mascara that was probably out of date to my lashes. Chris stood next to me in nothing but a towel brushing his teeth, he brushed so hard I thought he would push them out, or at least poke me in the eye with the insistent to and fro of his elbow. I laughed at him as white froth seeped from his minty grin and he nudged me enough to steer my hand away and cause a speckle of black gunk along my eyebrow. I scoffed at his attempts and pulled the mascara brush towards him, he backed away holding his arms up in surrender with a supressed grin struggling on his lips. I threw the mascara down and ran for him, trying not to trip on the soaking tiles. He chuckled, jumped onto the creaky bed and guarded himself with a pillow.

“Woah, wait. You’ve got a little something right there.” He laughed louder this time as I hit him with the pillow he found sanctuary in. I snorted at him and myself, but got a mouthful of cotton polyester. It tasted stale. I recoiled from the dryness and tried restoring the moisture to my tongue. Chris raised his eyebrows at this spectacle and hit me once more just below the shoulder.

“Oh, I see.” I said raising my arms triumphantly with the pillow in my hands, patiently lying in wait to be christened by Chris’ face. I swung my arms but missed, the pillow pulled me forward and before I knew it Chris had snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me up and over his shoulder. I hung there feeling my face redden instantly, my stomach raw with laughter.

“Do you surrender?” Chris hollered, his shoulders still moving up and down. I opened my mouth to decline his offer, but I knew Chris would stand here, with me over his shoulder, until the end of time. So, with my face probably as red as it felt I sighed and surrendered. I felt almost light headed when I was upright again; Chris held me close and wiped away the mascara, still chuckling. He kissed where it had been, then my lips, then my neck. His skin was warm against mine and every touch of his fingertips created a ripple of goose bumps. I watched his face as he ran his hands over me, down my sides with the slide of the zip, along my back with the peeling of fabric and through my hair with his eyes meeting mine. I slipped out of the dress, my fingers tangled in his dripping hair and Chris dropped his towel. Chris kissed my nose and I gripped him tight and pulled him into me.

We fell onto the sheets sinking into the mattress, into each other. I trailed my tongue lightly along his neck tasting his pulse, each thrust of the hips, each lock of the lips, making the beat of his pulse much faster. I rolled, now on top, I pulled Chris to me. I dragged my fingertips across his back and pushed my hips harder and faster. I felt Chris’ breath in my ear, hard and determined. As I felt an immense ripple of pleasure rising from my stomach Chris moved from under me and pushed me down. He gripped my hands whilst he buckled over me, his body moving against mine. I felt the rise of heat in me. It lapped inside, teasing me, like a wave on the shore, getting closer and closer, sending ripples of pleasure until- my back curved in delectation and my toes became tight above the balls of my feet, the pleasure imploded and engulfed me with it before rupturing throughout me. I gasped and squeezed Chris’ hips to mine as I relished in the immense wash of bliss that left me breathing hard and tingling. Chris buried his head in my neck and leant against me, his breath almost a grunt. We were a hot mass of flesh and sweat, and I smoothed Chris’ hair while his chest rose and fell, rose and fell. He turned my head to look at his and he lightly nudged his nose with mine. I pulled his lips onto mine and dragged over and under them, feeling the soft moistness of pink on mine and the graze of his stubble on my chin.

I could have fallen asleep right there and then, but Chris had made me promise we would have a real date night. Real was such a strange term for him to use. I thought it more a façade, but I knew better than to be sour, after all, I loved going out and I loved Chris. So I got ready…again and waited for Chris outside under a tree. It was old, I could tell by the way the bark had been hollowed by many years of pests and birds; it twisted up towards the sky and rained a dust of wood and leaves. I ran my fingers over the splintered exterior and could feel the nothingness between the bark and the ancient wood. It was at these moments I wondered why God had created us. Was it an accident? Is there a purpose to us? Or did he just create us because he could? I never really accepted Gods existence until seeing the things I had seen, after all how can you exorcise a demon and not believe in an omnipotent being? But you cannot count the beautiful things in life and say there is a God, whilst discounting the horrid. I have seen great men fall, and the vilest of creatures rise. And I have come to accept that whatever God there is or was is no longer listening, and I would not put my faith in him for a second.

“But you did a good job nonetheless.” I whispered patting the tree, I saw Chris from the corner of my eye. He was watching me, not quite smiling but looking quite content all the same.

“Still a believer I see.” He said strutting over taking my hand and leading me down the road where I had only seen red headlights.

“You mustn’t lose hope; it’s all we really have. I just want there to be something more, there has to be.” I stared insistently up at the many stars that were burning and dying hoping for some sign that would never come.

“And what if there isn’t?” Chris questioned, he took me under his arm and I felt his warmth creep along my coldness.

“I’ll be dead, so it won’t matter. People are dying Chris, going to Heaven, Hell. Hell has even thrown a few back to collect what was once there’s, and you’re trying to tell me that it means nothing? You’re trying to tell me that when you see the stars, the moon, the birds and the trees, that is all you see?”

“Yeah.” He laughed innocently. Kissing my temple as if to make up for his lack of interest in anything other than what was happening right here and now.

“I know you have hope. It may be different to my hope, but it’s there.”

Chris’ hope may have been a tiny ember compared to the flame that was mine but I knew he had invested hope in something else: what was real to him.

“What nonsense are you talking?” He looked quizzically down at me as I clung to him.

“Two years, and you still enjoy the hunt. You haven’t lost hope in yourself, in us. You believe that we will make it out the one way you know how.” I almost whispered it, thinking that it may decrease how much it hurt to hear it. Chris stopped mid stride and took my shoulders, he bent slightly to be at my height. Looking straight into my eyes he said “Listen to me, God or no God, Heaven, Hell and all that’s in between. I and I alone will make sure nothing happens to you, but promise me something?”

“Anything”  I felt the tingle in my nose but I did not cry for I was smiling to widely.

“You’ll look after me.”

 I crushed my lips against Chris’ and kissed him longer this time and even when my lungs cried out I hugged him closer to me.