Living the dream (Black Veil Brides)

Second Family

Skylars P.O.V

Trigger warning ahead the start and end of the self harm scene is maked by * skip past it do not read if it may trigger you.

Its been a week of me and Andy being all loved up. As well as some of the others. As much as Im happy it never lasts, ever. I just can't keep a true smile on my face for more than a day I swear. I hate it. I hate everything at the moment. My self the most. I sit in my room and look around taking in every little detail thinking of hiding places, escape routes, how to put them into action if needed. * Im 15 years old and im already suicidal. Whats the point. I thought. Everything has gone to shit. Mum hates my guts yet again. No surprise there really. I've distanced myself from everyone, literally everyone. My life yet again consists of a trusty blade and suicidal thoughts. Life ia actually so shit right now.
Im staring straight up at my dull white ceiling. Planing it all again. Every detail is perfect now. I lift my body up from its limp position and trudge to the jewellery box. So much choice between each blade I thought to my self. I pick the sharpest one there and go back to the foot of my bed. I take the normal two deep shaky breathes and raise my sleeves higher up my arm and my shorts legs higher as well. I scan my skin most of it covered in disgusting red raised scars. The rest are faded old scars. I pick up my blade and close my eyes. I slice my skin on my left arm and thigh open. I do this for five minutes straight not opening my eyes not letting a sob out not letting any pain show. I silently cry for an extra two or three minutes before composing my self. I open my icy, glazed, blood shot eyes open. I adjust to the brightness of my light and look down. Blood is covering the blade. My finger tips are stained and sticky. My arms dripping from both sides. My thigh is pouring out the crimson red liquid that im so used to seeing. I feel weak and relieved at the same time. I go into the on suite bathroom blood dripping every where. The white tiled floor that used to sparkle has now got patches of fresh blood across it. I sit on my toilet seat. And compose my self a little further I reach for the tap to my sink. The water sprays out into the cold porcelain sink. I clean my self up. Then im on my hands and knees scrubbing away the blood on my floor. No hints shall be left. After of an hour of getting the floor to sparkle again I head back to my room. I pick up my phone to find messages from Rileys older brother Tyler *(me and Tyler have always been close but rarely hang out in the same group)
T= Tyler S=Skylar
T- sky my girl im worried. Something isn't right
T- answer me sky
T- babe
T- dont make me come yours.
S- hey sorry please dont
T- you fucker you scared me where have you been
S- scrubbing my bathroom why
T- you've done it again haven't you
S- just dont let Riley know
T- nah I wont but im seeing you tomorrow okay?
S- yeah that'll be nice im sorry
T- its fine it's a slip up my poor angel
S- and Andy doesn't have a clue yet
T- okay tell him I'm gonna go for a mini walk with lou. I'll talk later
S- enjoy baii

After our convo I put my phone on charge and check the time. 11:40pm. Its early for me but im weak right now I wrap my self up in my bed and quilt and hope for decent nights sleep.

I wake up I see the many scars and fresh cuts across my thighs and arms. I sigh im such a stupid girl really but no one needs me. Im a whore and a disgrace to my family. But it's all hidden away only Tyler knows what goes on behind closed doors if I dont get out my soul will finally be free tonight. I get dressed running over the plan mentally making sure Its perfect. I pick out my black veil brides long sleeved top to cover the cuts along with my Motionless in white hoodie black skinny jeans and my beloved studded converse. I ignore the call from Riley. He'll know I can't let him know. I sort my hair and make up out rush down the stairs grab my energy drinks more than my small frame could handle. Get my bag and leave. I get to the gates I've avoided Riley now the group and my boyfriend. I go to the woods at the back of the school I rather not go in let alone be seen my eyes always give me away. I sit down leaning my back against the tree and listen to the soothing words of pierce the veil hold on till may. Its always calmed me. I shut my eyes shutting everything out. My thoughts cant take over my music is too loud its perfect. It didn't last long at all. My eyes shoot open to my entire group surrounding me. I raise an eyebrow and shake my head to say leave. But no one got the message. If I shout I'll give away my hiding spot to the school and have to attend. If I stay silent I stay strong. If they dont leave im going to break. I mentally beg for the shitty bell to go to get rid of them make them leave please I beg. But no they stay. I take my ear phones out and put on my bravest voice that no one has ever seen through ever. "What guys" "you're coming in school right" asked Archie "nope im not im staying here im not up for it or home for that matter" "sky get up and hurry we're late" rushed Riley "no I just said that I'll be here at break and lunch as well as the end of the day just see me then" I said frustrated "guys could you leave me and sky need a talk" Andy said and looked concerned. They all scuttled off I raise an eyebrow and he sits next to me *"whats wrong I know theres something that fake smile and brave voice and act doesn't wash with me" "just home Andy" I said trying to get him off my back "lies. Sky show me" he said nervously looking at my arms shit shit shit hes gonna see it all its going to give me away but I cant hide it from him I take my hoodie off and lay my arms out shutting my eyes "sky light why dont you ring me when you feel like this. There really bad half of them need stitches some could of killed you and the rest are reopened scars" he said broken "I don't know Im not going to be here anyway" I said just as broken "why sky where are you going?" He questioned concerned "to be with my dad" I said shakily "like hell are you no your not your staying whether you like it right now or not your my girlfriend your my world your the one I'll protect with everything I have I wont see you go like that ever you go natural. I mean it Skylar Faith you are staying in this world with us you don't get a choice thats no the answer we'll find a solution to your struggles I promise" he says dead serious. I just sit silently for a minute and agree to not go through with suicide. I stand up slowly.* "I going for a bit tell the guys" I say to Andy "where you going" he questioned "an old friends" "okay I'll let them know" I hug him good bye and kiss him. As always our kiss is heated and passionate and lasted longer than normal. We walked in different directions. I take my phone out and go through my contacts until I get to 'Tyler bear' I ring the number. It rings twice and he answers "you alright sky?" "Yeah kind of I guess could you pick me up?" I ramble to him "yeah course I can babe tell me when I get there" "im behind the school in the woods be at the shop in ten minutes ty?" I ask "already there my girl" he says I thank him and end the call. I put on papa roach gravity and walk through the woods singing to every word to every song that played until I reached the car park of the shop. I take my ear phones out and scan till I find Tylers range rover. I run over and open the dcar door and pull my small and fragile frame in and slam the door shut. "Hey" I say to him "lets get you in doors before we talk properly" he tells me.

We get to his and he opens his door Garys in babysitting. Tyler and me head upstairs. We go straight to the king size bed and throw ourselves on it. I laugh a little and instantly Tyler lights up "how come your not in school?" "Im not up for the judging looks the back stabbing bitches and everything hurts" I complain "babe I dont blame you. Who knows?" "Andy and he was shocked at the state of them. He convinced me out of suicide though" I say a little happier to get it out "aww bless you too at least your not going ahead with it" "yeah I know"

After an hour of being sprawled across the bed we've spoke about how me and andy got together how him and lorrie have sorted the dates to see the kids and hows Gary taken it.

All of a sudden theres a soft tapping at his bedroom door. I get up and answer to have lou rye and Austin hug my legs. How does he handle these three little terrors. I love them so much and they definitely make Tylers world. Tyler put the lion king in the tv and I snuggled up to Tyler and the terror triplets laid at the end of the bed. I took a photo and sent it to everyone on snapchat. With the caption of 'with my boys again' soon enough I drift asleep the last thing I hear is Garry saying how im part of his family for good now.

Authors note:

Hey. Sorry its been a little since an update ive been having some issues so yeah enjoy.