Take The Pain Away

Chapter 1

The girl with big dreams, Who wanted to be a photographer, who wanted to be an artist, who wanted to be an art teacher, who wanted to be a writer, who was Happy ever after! who her best friend was her Mother. The reason i wrote was? Because her Mother died in front of her eyes. This girl with her big dreams became Lonely, Quite and Rude a little, but still intelligent and loyal. Who knows really well when people lie and cheat. Who smoke and cut her self because its her escape from everything, who gave up on everything and stayed at home for six months without going to school or going out.

Yep, That's me.

I'm Ronnie Barker, the lonely\Depressed girl with a gay best friend.

If i could have just one wish, i'd have mom by my side.

Me and my dad have a good relationship, but sad that i don't talk to him very much. I don't really talk to anyone very much, Short answers that's it.

He gets mad because of that but can you blame me? my Mother died in front of my eyes and i didn't? I know it was an Accident but still it gets harder everyday. Landon had always tried his best to make me feel happy, and he also helps me to stop cutting my self but it just doesn't work out. Nobody knows about my cutting. Only God and Landon.

"So you won't go out tonight?" My dad talked. And i just shook my head, he let out a sigh shaking his head. "Okay, i'm going to Robert's house to watch today's match, you know his address right?" He asked standing next to the front door and i just nodded waving goodbye to him. As soon as he got out, i walked to my room and connected my phone to the speakers to play music. I never loved the loud ones, i mostly tend to quit music.

The fray are my band.

I lay down on my bed, listening to 'She Is'. Thinking of everything, And how close i am and why do i just lie in here writing how i feel in a piece of paper. Thinking of my life and how much time i've wasted sitting here in my bed

Smoking.

It still doesn't feel right to me though. I was that girl who thought smoking would kill and i used to advice people who smoke, and now its me who's smoking? i shook my head turning it off, i walked to the windows and opened it for new fresh air. I have nothing to do now... i glanced over my room and it feels messy so why not cleaning it since i'm bored.

Finally. Last touch, Sprinkling some Strawberry air freshener spray. Nothing's better than a cold room with cold sheets and a laptop and its clean. i found my self smiling as i remembered Mom once she gets in here and smell the air, she automatically fells over the bed.

Gosh i miss her..

I looked over the room and how perfect it is, i thought of using my Camera for the first time after six months without even thinking of touching it.

I clicked on YouTube to listen to Jason Walker was what i wrote first; Mom's favorite singer. Listening to some of his songs, i saw 'Cry' and thought of listening to it.

Oh no, where did all the years go

And was it really worth all of this

Heartache that was handed to me

Holding on just don't make sense

But the hardest part of letting go

Is tryin' to find a way

To let you know

I don't know why my heart is aching me.

So we'll just cry, cry

On each other's shoulders

Cry until it's over

Can't it just be over

And we'll just cry, cry

Cry until it's all gone

Been holding on for too long

Time for us to move on

I'm tired of tryin' to find a reason why

So let's just cry

I've been thinking 'bout my life and

How much time I've wasted

I'm ready to put it all behind

Let it all be yesterday

But the hardest part of letting go

Is tryin' to find a way

To let you know

Okay, now i think he wrote this for me. How much time i've wasted laying on bed? How much time i've wasted Smoking, cutting and Crying over something that happened in the past for a reason god only knows about? How much time i've wasted locking my self in my room because i hated my self?

I snapped out of my thoughts once Dad opened the door, Raising his eyebrows smiling at me. "So you cleaned your room."

"I did." i smiled back, and his smile got bigger! i love seeing him smiling.

"I miss your smile Ron, I miss you." he walked closer to me, and now he's sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I miss you too.. Listen." i played the song all over again.

"It's like.. It's decided for me." I said, Looking at him who was focused on the lyrics.

"Yeah Ron, you should listen to him, I say." He chuckled

"Yeah." I smiled a little.

"So, you want dinner?"

"No I'm good, I'll sleep in couple of minutes."

"Okay. Umm I'll talk to you tomorrow about something that is important. Goodnight princess."

"Umm, kay." Even though I'm 17 years old, he never stop from calling me princess, and I love it. Mom used to call me honey boo boo, I laughed at that thought. My phone was ringing by then, i picked it up to see it was Landon.

"Ronnieeee!!"

"what!"

"Guess what!!"

"Whaaat!"

"Omg"

"Talk Landon!" i literally jumped.

"Its nothing, its just that i love you. And i wanted to see if you're okay?"

"Aww, i love you too old cunt. I'm doing good today! I was smoking, and it only lasted 15 seconds and i turned it off cause i thought its bad! can you believe that! I also heard a song that slapped me, I'm so gonna idols him; that Jason walker, and i also talked to dad and he told me there's something important he wanted to tell me tomorrow. Annnnd guess what? i cleaned my room and took a picture of it. I Actually touched my camera!"

"Oh my god Ronnie that's the longest you have ever talked!! I'm happy for you girl, i see you're good tonight!"

"I am and i hope i be tomorrow too."

"I hope too, okay now i'm gonna sleep. Goodnight and i love you!"

"Goodnight, love you too!"

I didn't really go to sleep, instead i've watched a scary movie that i ended up sleeping with my father.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

HII! I know this Chapter sounds borrrriiinnnnnnngggg, but wait till the next .chapters! Good ideas are coming. Annd a picture of Ronnie on the right >>>>>

Hope you liked it ;)

Me and Lolo_1s are writing this story so please COMMENT, FAN, VOTE. we really need your comments to see if it was good or not. please?

And I deleted The novel Am I dreaming because I didn't know what to write next and to be quit honest I don't like fan fictions that much and I don't know why I wrote it lol. Thank you! MUCH LOVEE<3<3<3